Just keeping things light this Labor Day weekend. Once upon a time--as in for the last thirty years--every Labor Day weekend was spent performing at the Santa Rosa-then-Pleasanton Highland Games. But last year the Games were canceled and this year one of our bandmates was injured in a non-musical accident (I honestly didn't know you could rip a pectoral muscle GULP).
The bright side is, I have Labor Day off!
There really is no dark side to swimming, BBQ, and sleeping in that I can see.
A lot of you might not have known that I've been performing/recording Celtic music for most of my adult life (which, makes it all the odder that I've never written a musician main character--I have no idea why) and that's from whence the idea for this post arose.
Some other things you might not know about me.
1 - I talk to myself. A LOT. To the amusement of friends and family--and possibly my dogs. I don't even know I'm doing it anymore. It's mostly the musing aloud variety. Let's see. If I add this... You know the kind of thing. I'm also prone to false alarms. Oh, don't tell me I... lostmykeys/lockedmyselfout/forgotto To the extent that no one takes these flutters seriously anymore (except me and even I know I probably did NOT forget/lose/drop whatever it is).
Apparently I have even occasionally talked in my sleep, although I don't know if I really believe this.
2 - I believe in ghosts. Not like Hollywood ghosts or Gothic literature ghosts--although those are certainly fun--more like echoes of the past, reverberations of traumatic events, shades and shadows that linger through time. I think I've had a couple of ghostly encounters, but I'm not entirely sure. I have an active imagination and that could certainly throw me off.
3 - My first novel--a Harlequin romance--was published in 1984. So, yes, I have been doing this a very long time.
4 - I didn't marry until I was in my forties. From a writing perspective, that gave me a lot of useful experience as far as having different kinds of relationships with different kinds of romantic partners. From an ideal spouse perspective... er, I was a little on the backward side. I think it took me two years before I conceded I did need to call home if I was going to be late or that I should probably consult--or at least inform--the SO before I made vacation arrangements. HOWEVER, I DID REMEMBER TO DOUBLE CHECK WITH HIM IF IT WAS OKAY TO ADOPT BOTH DOGS. ;-)
5 - I close my eyes at the gory/scary parts of films. I HATE suspense.
Without a doubt this has got to be the weirdest summer.
At least it's my weirdest summer.
I mean, what DIDN'T go wrong? Appliances breaking left and right (currently the dishwasher and pool heater are on the blink). Pandemic. Family feuds. Health crises for the parental units. Pandemic. Sick dogs. Social and political unrest. DID I MENTION THERE'S A @#$%^^&&!*ING PANDEMIC? Neighbor drama-trauma (which I realize bothers me more than I want to admit).
In short, I'm burnt out.
It's not about the writing. When I can sit down long enough to write, the writing is fine. I'M burnt out. I'm tired. I have zero emotional energy. And my mental energy is expended on things I truly don't want to think about. I don't want to think about climate change although an entire summer of triple digit days makes it hard to ignore. I don't want to think about having to rely on natural selection to get us out of this pandemic, but that's inevitable. I don't want to face the fact that my parents are well into their 80s and not in great health. I don't want to think about voter suppression, the humanitarian crisis in EVERYWHERE, a country on the verge of civil war--but for months I haven't been able to read or watch TV or movies, so what else is there to think about?
Ugh.
No wonder I find it difficult to sit down and write fun, entertaining fiction. I am not a fun, entertaining person right now.
Every time I think I'm coming out of it (like now?) something else breaks or someone else gets sick or there's something new and terrifying happening on the news. And, proof of my red zone stress levels, everything feels like the last straw. The. Last. Straw.
This is not me. But yet it's been me for the last two years.
I do think part of the trouble is--this is tied to the pandemic, for sure--there hasn't been a lot of "refilling the creative well" over the past two, well, three years. So that's kind of my focus right now. I'm consciously making a belated effort to refill the well.
Part of the... I wouldn't call it a difficulty, exactly, but I achieved all of my initial life goals a long time ago. I write for a living--and I love what I write. I found my life's partner. I can typically help the people I love when they need help.
So what's next? I think that's what I'm struggling with. What do I want from the rest of my life? Or at least the next ten years? What would make me happy? I honestly have no idea--and I think that question mark has to be addressed.
I mean, there are things I want that are not possible. I want the people I love--even the dogs I love--to live forever. That's not going to happen. But within the reachable realm, what do I want? Do I want to move to another country? Do I want to write in another genre? (Those two are kind of the same thing, aren't they?) In fact, do I want to give up writing and do something else with my life? What would that be?
(Okay, giving up writing seems pretty unlikely. I can't imagine a non-writing life. Writing isn't just what I do, it's what I am.)
I do have several short term practical goals:
Body at Buccaneer Bay - October 19th**
The Monuments Men Murders - November 30*
Hide and Seek (Patreon exclusive) - December 31
Fatal Shadows: The Collector's Edition - December 31
(*Updated yet again as of 9/7 because I just realized my BFF is coming to spend two weeks, and while she is also a writer, it is HIGHLY unlikely much writing will happen.)
(**Updated yet yet again on 9/23 because see above)
I think that's all doable. Beyond that...I do know I want room for the extra stuff. Creative exploration and expansion. The projects that don't necessarily make money, but that allow me to stretch my brain and flex my writing muscles.
What will those be? I have no idea. Which is maybe both the good news AND the bad news. ;-)
Currently it's 99° and headed for another day in the triple digits. It's been like this for an entire week, and I think I speak for everyone is this household when I say UGH.
We woke to the sound of patio lights falling and the backyard umbrella crashing down when a sudden windstorm ripped through the yard...and then disappeared. Next, our neighbors' German shepherd puppy escaped and was on the lam, so we helped chase him down. (The SO used Marlowe as bait to lure the runaway back). Now all is quiet. Dead still, in fact. Hot and humid and still. I'm settling down to work, my faithful doggie companions curled up in the giant comfy chair with me (it is a bit warm for curling up together, but they don't seem to mind).
I don't know how people can say dogs don't dream. Spenser's tail is wagging as he sleeps. Marlowe's little muzzle is twitching and wrinkling like he's telling Cowboy what he thinks of him for running away. They are most definitely dreaming--and not about the same things.
Body at Buccaneer Bay is off to a slow start. There's just a lot going on right now (not that that's anything new) and I'm trying not to fall too far behind on all the other stuff that has to happen in addition to writing. I can't wait for next year when I've got eight weeks between projects and can actually have something close to a normal working life. Anyway, I've made most of the adjustments to this year's schedule now (The 12.2-Per-Cent Solution still has to be pushed back to the end of July at Amazon, but other than that, I think everything is now looking pretty solid--barring the next disaster.)
IT IS A WEIRD SUMMER. Am I right? Even as we climb out of the pandemic--not that we're out yet, but I do feel we're getting there--everything still feels...unfamiliar and precarious. Maybe it was always unfamiliar and precarious, and I'm only now noticing?
ENYWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Things I'm working on this month:
Exclusive audio for Patreon. Which I'll talk about on Patreon. ;-)
But speaking of audio, I set up my own audio storefront at Findaway Voices. To celebrate, I've knocked everything down about 50% for the month of June. Now, not all my audio books are in my storefront, but some thing are in my storefront that are not--and will never--be at Audible. AND now I'm thinking maybe I'll create more collections that are unique to my storefront and maybe a couple of other channels not including Audible. It's an idea. It might not be a good one. We'll see.
I joined the Alliance of Independent Authors as an Authorpreneur (you have to be able to prove you earn a living at your writing by showing that you sell a minimum of 50,000 units over 24 months--or whatever the page read equivalent of that is) Basically, I was looking for a discount coupon at IngramSpark, but as I read about the benefits and goals of ALLI, I realized this was an organization worth supporting. If you're an indie author, I think you might want to check it out!
I'm going through contracts and setting up accounts at various mobile publishing platforms. I'm really fascinated by mobile publishing--which is kind of a cross between Candy Crush and Netflix. On the one hand, it seems like the least efficient way to buy books. On the other hand, I play Candy Crush, so...I get it. Right now, I'm just uploading backlist stories. And of course, that's not really the most effective way to write for these platforms, but the thing is, I'm just looking for another passive income stream. I ALREADY make a living at my writing, and as we all know, I'm not great at having to produce under super-stressful deadlines.
There's surprisingly little insight or info about the Asian market--even though it dominates this industry--but I did find an interesting article here. What is really fascinating is that the fiction app readership is NOT your "normal" book buying audience. It is sure as hell not a KU audience given that readers could ultimately pay three times what a book would fetch on one of the mainstream book-selling platforms. Which is why I wonder how successful Amazon will be with Vella. Readers go to Amazon to buy books at the lowest possible prices. I understand why Amazon wants a slice of this particular pie though.
Always things to consider and explore in this brave new world of publishing.
Are you doing anything special for Father's Day? I bought my dad something called Storyworth. And then I thought it was such a cool idea, that I also bought it for the SO on behalf of my step-kids. Essentially, it's a book made up of photos and reminiscences. I can't think of a better gift for my dad or the SO given that they are both writers AND big time reminiscencers. ;-D
Anyway, that's my weekly update.
Just a reminder that Body at Buccaneer Bay will be out toward the end of July. If you've already preordered, thank you so much.
That's 17 points in Scrabble, for those keeping track.
Yeeeeeesh.
So by now you may or may not be aware that the correct file for Scandal at the Salty Dog was actually uploaded after the book went live on Monday.
Yes, I know.
The correct files were uploaded Monday, but that doesn't mean you have them. It means they're now available. If you've tried to get updates to the original file, but you're not able to, drop me a line and I'll send you the correct file.
Frankly, that was the LEAST of my disastrous weekend.
On Friday night--no, let's be precise--at two a.m. on Saturday morning, I woke to what sounded like a waterfall in the master bathroom. I staggered in to see what was happening, opened the cistern and water began shooting out everywhere. I couldn't see how to fix it, so I staggered back to wake up the SO, who was sleeping peacefully throughout my exclamations of dismay, the rush of Niagara-like sounds, and the dogs racing around, hopping on and off the bed, to join in the fun.
At last the SO comes back to life--cue resurrected mummy sounds--jumps up, staggers into the bathroom, can't see how to fix it--coz it's a special water conserving toilet???-- tries to turn off the valve below the toilet and... It's stripped. He can't turn off the water there, so he says he'll have to shut it off at the street. Not ideal, but okay.
He staggers out to turn off the water at the street HOWEVER we don't have a normal valve out there. We have some weird jerry-rigged monstrosity that requires a special tool which we don't have. So after trying an assortment of wrenches and hammers and whatever, he says we have to call the city AT TWO IN THE MORNING.
The city says ARE YOU KIDDING? IT'S TWO A.M AND THIS IS A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. WE'RE GOING TO CHARGE YOU. I won't repeat what the SO said. The city finally staggered out and turned off the water.
We all go back to bed.
On Saturday, we begin calling plumbers. No luck. No one can come out before Tuesday. TUESDAY. And we can't turn the water back on because, you know, weird jerry-rigged street valve.
No showers, no washing dishes, no watering the garden, no flushing the toilets. You get the picture. It's not pretty.
By Saturday night, I was thinking it couldn't get worse.
Then my beloved little darling, Marlowe the Mutt, out of nowhere starts choking and coughing up white foam. It goes on and on and then stops. And then starts again. And then stops. And then starts again. I think something is lodged in his throat or he's been poisoned and he's dying and it's pretty much the worst night of my life.
But then it stops. He seems fine.
We go to bed. Please, please, please God, don't let my little dog die.
I lie with Marlowe tucked against me, stroking him, listening to him breathing, all night. In the morning, he is jumping up and down, wanting breakfast, while I'm calling our vet trying to get their emergency line--WHICH THEY NO LONGER HAVE. They didn't even have the answering machine on. NOBODY HOME.
So Marlowe seems perky and fine, but every now and then he has this weird coughing spell--which I now realize could be kennel cough. So I read up everything I can find on kennel cough, and proceed to do all the things to make him comfortable.
Now it's Wednesday and I've currently called four recced vets--not including our regular vet--and the soonest anyone can take him is JUNE NINTH. Our own vet can't take him until the FIFTEENTH.
The plumber came yesterday. Today Marlowe seems better? So maybe, maybe, maybe life is getting back to normal. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
Ranald. Ronald. Whoever.
YOU ARE HERE.
AND YOU NEED TO BE THERE.
It sounds so simple, doesn't it? WHY IS IT NOT THAT SIMPLE?
Anyway, that's where I am right now--riding madly off in all directions. But they're all creative directions, so that's the good news. I'm organizing more audio, more translations, looking into web publishing, setting up a summer...seminar? (not sure what to call it) on writing M/M Mystery.
And, of course, I'm writing.
Writing. Writing. Writing.
The writing is going well, which means everything is going well. In this case, no news is good news. ;-)
So... Next book up is Scandal at the Salty Dog. Available for preorder (though no longer at the preorder price). That's coming out mid-ish May. I will keep you posted!
OR John Joseph Galbraith. Which one should we talk about?
THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION.
I've been making notes and working on the outline for Bell, Book and Scandal, and that means thinking through the ongoing character arcs of both Cosmo and John. I was surprised after I Buried a Witch by the readers who really did not seem to "get" John. Meaning that they did not seem to understand that John was an emotionally and psychologically complicated personality with a character arc before him.
I don't know why this always surprises me because I've noticed again and again that the very readers who claim they love difficult, complicated characters, often have a lot of trouble with characters who are indeed difficult and complicated outside of a preordained acceptable character traits bubble.
I admit it. I like writing difficult characters. I like writing characters that push reader buttons. I like occasionally making readers uncomfortable. I'm not trying to write for everyone. I'm not studying the market and analyzing algorithms. I write what interests me, moves me, inspires me to explore and understand. That's one reason why I quit writing for mainstream. ;-)
Anyway, I was thinking about John and the readers who were riled by him, and I wonder if there were some important clues that not everyone picked up on. Like, there's a big difference between what John says and what he does. John's communication style is very brusque, but his actions frequently do not line up with what he says. John talks a good distancing game, but when it comes to Cosmo, he does not actually preserve much distance.
Some of John's most important character reveals are sub-textual. But some of them are right there in plain sight.
For example, John's not sexually controlling. He's open and willing to anything Cosmo wants to do or not do. He specifically says Cosmo should have everything the way he likes every time he has sex. And as Cosmo's sexual interests change, John goes right along with out hesitation or hitch.
Also, right from the start--in Mainly by Moonlight--as ambitious as John professes to be--is--when it comes down to Cosmo or his big important job--even with all his (understandable) doubts and concerns about Cosmo--he chooses Cosmo.
This is a little one, but kind of key to both family dynamics and how John treats others. John backs Cosmo's position within the family hierarchy. We know (or think we know) John's not a patient guy, yet he's kind to his annoying and difficult mother and both loyal to, and protective of, his difficult young sister. He values Cosmo's input and opinions (as much or more than values anyone's--given that he is not a trusting person). Also he appears to remain courteous and respectful to Cosmo's family and friends, despite knowing they detest him.
In I Buried a Witch, John gives what he believes is an ultimatum and when Cosmo calls his bluff, he backs down, eventually settling on the fairly minimal request of please don't use magic as a first resort. (Which is fair enough from someone who doesn't like magic. ) Should he have made the original request? It's called negotiation.
Also, as controlling as John seems on the surface, he does forgive Cosmo for trying to use magic on him--not once, but a couple of times. In fact, after his initial rage (again we only see it through Cosmo's eyes) he attempts to retreat from Cosmo. He does not attack him or punish him. He's not out to destroy Cosmo. He doesn't reveal any of Cosmo's secrets.
It's tricky because we mostly see John through Cosmo's eyes, and Cosmo feels insecure and uncertain of the relationship. Subtext is important when analyzing John. But so are Cosmo's behaviors. He repeatedly ignores John's orders and demands--other than the evening where John discovers Cosmo is a magical being who attempted to repeatedly use magic on him--Cosmo shows little real fear of anything but John not loving him. In fact, overall, Cosmo is pretty much a blithe spirit.
And finally, I'd have insisted on the pool too. :-D I mean, he did give Cosmo half the backyard, and Cosmo is a fully cognizant adult, not a tiny child to wander off and fall in the pool.
Maybe I just waited too long to tackle this one. I don't think I can completely blame it on the pandemic, though clearly that didn't help. I've started and stopped at least a dozen times. It's completely outlined. I've got whole scenes playing out in my mind. I've got the covers. I even did a couple of trailers and teasers. I tried to do a playlist. I tried every inspire-creativity trick I know, but the story and the characters just seemed to drift farther and farther away.
I've read such stupid comments about books being delayed and cancelled. As though this was something a writer did simply to disappoint and anger readers. No writer wants to cancel a book. I wouldn't have dragged this out for years, if I'd actually wanted to cancel.
In fact, disappointing readers is the last thing I want to do. I know how this feels and I hate doing it. I've had it happen to me, and when it does, I feel that exact same frustrated why can't they just write the damn thing?!
Just from a practical standpoint... The first little novella earned over 30K. Spring had about 2000 preorders. I'd already sold the audio rights on the sequel (which now have to be repaid). So there was every practical incentive to complete this project.
So no, I really, really, really did not want to have to cancel this one. I mean, it was just a novella!!! Thirty thousand words! Why the hell couldn't I come up with a measly thirty thousand words?!!
I don't know why, but I couldn't.
I don't feel the characters anymore. There's no...emotional connection. Also having waited so long, I ran into the problem of other people's expectations. It's the lesson of The Ghost Had an Early Check-out. I waited too long on that one too, and readers had too much time to decide the story they wanted--which turned out to not be the story I had in mind. And then there were the hostile comments and negative reviews because Spring had already been delayed. I'll be honest. That kind of thing is a disincentive for moving ahead with a project you're already struggling with.
And I don't doubt that that's the goal of negative comments and hostile reviews of a book not yet written. This time it worked. This time I didn't have enough faith in the project to forge ahead anyway. I read over the outline, and it's like someone else wrote it.
Anyway, my creative energy still feels fragile, so I'm only doing what really interests me, what I'm eager to work on, what I know I can and will finish.
If the time comes when I feel different about this project, when I can remember what made me want to write about Flynn and Kirk in the first place, I promise you I will. But for now, sadly, this one is shelved.
I don't know about you, but I really did NOT think we would still be in full pandemic mode this fall.
Or rather, I thought we'd be bracing up to the possibility of a second wave, not still dealing with the first. But here we are heading into flu season while never having really got a handle on the pandemic. In fact, a third of the country firmly believes it's all made up. LOL. Because...
That part of the conspiracy remains vague. I mean, to be a serious PLOT you've got to have a concrete goal. There has to be a pragmatic outcome. Like World Domination. Like a zillion billion dollars ransom. I mean THOSE ARE THE RULES OF EVILDOING.
But I digress. The fact is, you can get used to anything, and I'm getting used to this. We all are.
And lest you think it's all doom and gloom at Chez Lanyon, nothing of the kind! Luckily, the SO and I are extremely compatible thanks to a mutual love of murder and mystery. We literally never run out of anything to blab about whether it's the latest episode of Dateline, something I'm writing, something he's writing, or a debate over the merits of the Perry Mason books (uh yeah, they're not TV tie-ins, as I was entertained to see someone insisting in an online discussion) versus the original movies (recommended if you love old movies!) versus the TV series and the TV series reboot (I love William Katt! Whatever happened to William Katt!) versus the latest and weakest incarnation on HBO (but oh my God excellent acting and how beautifully filmed it was!). I have the dogs and the garden and my cocktail shaker--and let me tell you, I am becoming one hell of a mixologist.
In fact, let me share my latest invention. It's called The Tipsy Mermaid. It's very sweet but carries an unexpected punch, just like a real mermaid. *cough* IF there was such a thing as mermaids.
1 oz cake vodka
1 oz Chambord
1 oz blue Curacao
1 oz cranberry-blackberry juice
(Also I now have TWO alternate recipes for Raspberry Lemon Drops, but I'll save those for another day.)
And I have my writing. Sort of. I mean, it's shaky, it's still more theoretical than practical, but I am working and I am making very slow progress.
In fact, yesterday I outlined a short story called 44.1644° NORTH. It's going to be in the second short story collection (although if you're in Patreon, you'll be getting it for free) due out in January. I'm currently working on Bell, Book and Scandal, and yes, I do actually plan to have that one out for Halloween. Blessed be.
So yeah, I'm feeling more optimistic, more in control again, and here are five of the things I find most comforting right now.
1 - YouTube Beauty Bloggers. OH, I KNOW. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW. But there is something really soothing about watching people who know what they're doing, apply eyeshadow. All those paint boxes and tubes of color! Gorgeous color. How can you NOT enjoy all that color? Make up is transformative. Self care is healthy. YMMV but to each their own and I do own a LOT of eyeshadow.
Last week one of my favorite beauty bloggers did what I found to be a really interesting bit on urgency, and how so much of the pressure we feel is self-inflicted. I thought I would share it. And also holy moly can this woman do things with eyeshadow!
2 - Coffee Table books. I don't think those of us in the States are going to be traveling much until 2022. Just my opinion. So I'm reminding myself of everything out there, past and present and imaginary through the application of art and coffee table travel books. In particular I'm loving Slim Aarons right now. If you don't know Aarons, he documented a world that never really existed for most people, but yet that somehow continues to shape our own concept of class, elegance, and how the other half should live.
3 - Gardening. It's officially autumn, so it's time to start closing up shop for the winter, but my garden has been a huge source of comfort this summer. There's just something really centering about sunlight and damp earth and the smell of flowers and the hum of bees. A garden teaches patience like nothing else.
4 - Coloring books. Yes! Coloring books. When all this madness started, I was playing a lot of Candy Crush and so forth, and I felt like that just had to stop. That was just too...numb. So I moved over to coloring books, which it turns out I have tons of (also lots of wonderful pencils and crayons--largely unused) and it's been really relaxing to listen to the news or listen to the SO rant about the news while I color in my coloring books. ;-) I'm not very good, but I can stay within the lines, and maybe in the end, that's all that really matters.
5 - Goldbelly. A dear friend sent me a gift certificate to Goldbelly a while back--and then another friend sent me the most delicious pies--and eventually I figured out that Goldbelly was a way to sample legendary and fantastic foods from across the country from the comfort of your own quarantine cell pretty much whenever you wanted. Wow.
So that's it. Those are my tips for staying sane during Phase 2 of Our Pandemic. What about you? Do you have any good tips? How are you coping these days?
I'm not sure why watching shows about people murdering each other is somehow less distressing right now than watching the news--maybe because the body count is so much lower on Dateline?
Whatever, I've definitely noticed a pattern of behaviors that I'm going to watch for moving forward. ;-D I don't mean in real life--I'm not planning on killing anyone, let alone becoming an amateur sleuth--but these are good reminders for writing crime fiction.
1 - The louder and more hysterical the person reporting the crime is, the more likely THEY are the killer. Especially if the person on the phone is a spouse. Talk about Bad Actors. In every sense of the word. Maybe it's because genuine shock often leaves people seeming weirdly cold and detached rather than, as might seem reasonable, screaming and hysterical.
Also, addressing the victim while on the phone with the 911 operator is almost always a giveaway.
"Oh Gina, Gina. Darling! Noooooo. Breathe!!"
YOU DID IT AND WE ALL KNOW YOU DID IT.
2 - There is the exact same breakdown of skill and talent on any given police force as there is in any given office anywhere. You know how Beth (we'll call her Beth) never wants to refund customers to whom she recommended the wrong product? Well, if Beth were a cop--and she occasionally is--Beth would be the kind of cop who just goes with the first and obvious suspect and doesn't bother to run that DNA test. And eventually, twenty years later, Caren gets assigned to Cold Cases, runs the DNA, and discovers the wrong person has been sitting in jail for decades.
WHOOPSIE.
Seriously, it's mind-blowing how often stuff falls through the cracks. But then it's mind blowing how many orders get dropped at my local coffee house. Despite the life or death stakes, a police force is only as good as its weakest barista.
3 - WHAT THE HELL WITH ALL THE MURDEROUS PASTORS??!!!
4 - Children will forgive (or blank-out) just about anything evil their parents do--including one parent murdering another--UNTIL THEY HAVE THEIR OWN KIDS. It's kind of fascinating to see how often this one plays out. Of course, it does kind of make sense given the fact that none of us really pay close attention to anything until we're about thirty. *cough*
HEY, DAD, I JUST REMEMBERED MOM'S PURSE IS STILL SITTING IN THE BASEMENT ON TOP OF THAT TRUNK BEHIND THE AX DISPLAY...
5 - What is the aversion to divorce?! You don't want to share custody of the kids or pay alimony or split the DVD collection, so instead you KILL the person you've been sharing scrambled eggs with for the last ten years and risk losing everything. EVERYTHING. Because even an entire police force made of baristas knows the spouse is the #1 suspect. Even Beth can solve this one. Would it really have been so bad to have to divvy everything up fair and square? Worse than years of prison food and orange jumpsuits--not to mention you still have to pay lawyers fees?
Yeesh.
What about you? Do you watch true crime? Do you have a favorite show? Do you have any true crime insights?
I've been putting off posting an update because I honestly wasn't sure what to say. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, philosophically (?!) I've been all over the map for the last six weeks or so. I'd feel a surge of creative energy, start work, and shortly after fall into... I hate to say depression because, for one thing, depression doesn't even cover it.
Anger--so much anger--frustration, anxiety, and yes, depression. Which has played out in a kind of inertia. Inertia and indifference.
I REALLY DON'T CARE, DO U?
Except I do care. Hence the anger verging on rage.
Which you might think would be great for fueling creative energy, but turns out to be merely exhausting.
I mean, I started out the pandemic in a fairly calm state of mind. ("Calm" being relative.) I got tons of writing business stuff done, and I wasn't too worried about the lack of creative drive because I felt confident that would return once I got all the busyness done. Buuuuuut... Not so much.
So here we are at the start of September--ARE YOU KIDDING ME???--and I haven't published since April. That is not good. That is very, very bad.
And, while I'm starting to feel a bit more optimistic again, a bit more creative, I know my anxiety will ratchet up the closer we get to flu season and the election and the holidays. I've already had to mostly cut myself off from watching the news, and my nightly CBD oil intake verges on industrial strength.
There are five projects I would like to finish before the end of the year--and four months to do them in. This is all doable provided nobody moves, nobody blinks, nobody breathes too loudly. I'm feeling more like my normal self, but I want to be very cautious about committing to anything. For obvious reasons.
Which is a very long way of saying I'm okay and I'm working again and I think everything is going to work out.
So far I have not had to resort to riding a pig around a car lot, but given how weird this year is, who knows?
Anyway, if you've been considering pledging to my Patreon, I have an enticing but limited time offer.
ANNUAL MEMBERSHIPS.
Patreon recently decided to offer the option of annual subscriptions to both new and existing patrons. (Apparently 35% of patrons would prefer not to be bothered with monthly payments!) I can see the convenience of this, assuming you have the ability to pay your monthly fees in a lump sum up front--and I can see there is a short term potential advantage to me.
I'll be honest, I'm not sure about this, but a lot of people are struggling right now, so from today until the end of December, I'm offering a 10% discount on annual pledges.
Basically, if you're currently paying $10.00 a month (or $120.00 a year), you'd be paying $9.00 a month (or $108. a year) And so on and so forth. You're paying less but you're getting a free month of membership.You're also reducing transaction fees and reducing the change of credit card declines. Those are all good things! Right?
Right.
So. Visit my Patreon page where you’ll see the option below the “Join” button of your chosen tier. Just follow the directions.
There's lots more helpful info right here. (And no, I don't mean the video!)
Now that the "reboot" is complete, I'm pulling the series from Kindle Unlimited and making it wide again starting in September.
New cover art by the talented--well, really MULTI-talented Reese Dante. I love that she kept the original cover model and that she shows a gradual, subtle aging of Adrien throughout the course of the series. And you know what I particularly love? He looks younger and happier again by SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS.
YOU GET ME, REESE, YOU REALLY GET ME. ;-D
But seriously, my plans for the 20th Anniversary have kind of gone KAAAA-BLOOEY with everything that has happened, including the cancellation of this year's GRL. NO CAKE???? HOW CAN WE HAVE AN ANNIVERSARY WITHOUT CAKE!!!???
But I'm going to do what I can--and maybe we'll get together and have cake at NEXT year's GRL!? God willing and we don't all die of the plague.
Here is my official invitation to fans of the series to contribute art and fiction or even non-fiction to our virtual celebration, which I will feature here on the blog. I'd like to do at least one AE-related post a month, starting in August. (Obviously, I'll come up with some things as well.)
But meantime, enjoy a glimpse of the new cover art!
If anyone had asked me prior to the pandemic how I'd deal with being forced to stay home and write all the time with almost no interruptions--or at least zero to no reason to leave home--I'd have said it sounded like a dream come true pretty good to me. Certainly, it sounded like something I could easily adjust to.
And I was initially very productive in lockdown. Not creative. Well, I did learn to use BookBrush and I did make a bunch of book trailers. Not much writing happened, but a lot of other catching up on stuff did. I dealt with some of the audio, print, translation, and marketing chores that have been hanging over me forever. That felt great. That felt like I was moving forward even though I was worried and uncertain about the future.
But now... It's been just about three months since I last published anything. Secret at Skull House came out at the end of April, and since then I've written a little here and there. I started Mystery at the Masquerade, I started a short story, I'm working on the outline for Haunted Heart: Spring, I've done a couple of codas for Patreon. Obviously, it's not the year any of us planned on, but does it have to be a full-blown crash-and-burn disaster?
I mean, there's still half a year to go, and there's no reason I can't pull myself together but...
73,000 NEW CORONA VIRUS CASES REPORTED YESTERDAY. I mean... Seventy-three THOUSAND???? What. The. Hell.
And that's not even the scariest news of the day. I mean, just a glance at the headlines on the political front are enough to suck the breath out of my lungs. (Which is not to say I don't do plenty of yelling about it--just ask the SO.)
But really, as worrying as all that is, I've been writing through the last three years. I don't see why I can't write through this.
And some good things have happened. I got to see my family (finally) at our socially distanced 4th of July celebration. Our taxes are done (the bleeding has nearly stopped). The dogs have their shots and vaccinations for the rest of the year. We're having socially distanced dinner and cocktails with my sister's family tonight. We're figuring it out. We're navigating uncharted waters. We're okay. I'm okay.
I just have to begin writing again.
But so far, not so good. I've had to once more push Haunted Heart: Spring back. I've seen a few comments wherein irate readers say I should just cancel the book. Why? No, seriously. WHY? I still plan on writing the book. I still want to finish Flynn's story. Why would I cancel the book simply because some petulant petunia is disappointed it didn't arrive when originally promised? As a reader who has also endured having to wait for books I really wanted to read, I far prefer to get the book later than expected than learn it's been canceled for good. Like, I still hope that maybe, maybe someday Poppy Z. Brite will return to the world of John Rickey and G-man Stubbs, as unlikely as I know that is.
Should the day come that I realize I no longer have any stories in me, then that's another thing. I'm not there yet. Not even close. In fact, I was brushing my teeth this morning and I realized Sam and Jason dialog was running through my brain. That's a really good sign. That's something that hasn't been happening for a few weeks.
So, yes. I'm struggling to find the words and books are running late. But the words haven't vanished. Thank God. If I could snap out of it on cue, I would. But I can't. I have to work my way back to where I was. My plan is to play around with some Patreon stuff and hope that shakes loose a little more creativity, and then I'll tackle something small. Probably a short story--probably the short story I started and then abandoned last month. Or maybe not. I just don't know. This is something new for me. It's not exactly burn-out, but it might as well be.
One word, one sentence, one paragraph, one page at a time. This is the advice I've always given, and I know it works. So that's the plan. I'll keep you posted.
Join me and the other authors from the FOOTSTEPS IN THE DARK: AN M/M MYSTERY-ROMANCE ANTHOLOGY this Saturday for Footsteps in the Bar. We'll be reading from our stories, drinking, and chatting books and publishing with whoever manages to show up. I hope that will be you!
**Time: Jun 27, 2020 01:00 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)
THE MOVIE-TOWN MURDERS, final book in the Art of Murder series, is now listed for preorders on Amazon--and only Amazon.
That doesn't mean the book will be launched in KU or anything like that. It means, I'm simply getting my ducks--i.e, my Amazon preorders--in line. The book is listed for June 2021, but I'm assuming it won't take me that long to write. Frankly, I'm terrified of missing any more deadlines, but preorders are kind of vital to my financial success, so this is my compromise.
I'm listing preorders (for now only on Amazon) at a reduced price, and pushing those release dates out a year. That gives me plenty of breathing space. I will be listing the books everywhere shortly, but it's not an urgency because I'm really not writing much at the moment. GULP. Maybe we take a second out on our house. Maybe I pull myself together in time. I just don't know. I don't like knowing. But hey. That's our life right now, right?
IT'S NOT JUST A JOB, IT'S AN ADVENTURE.
ENYWHOOO. The wonderful Johanna Ollila did the cover--she's done all but the first cover in the Art of Murder series--and I think it's gorgeous!
Since I'm having trouble staying focused creatively, I've been trying to catch up on a bunch of other things--I'm taking more audio titles wide, I'm doing more print single titles through Amazon, I'm outlining and charting books for the backside of this year and the front side of next year. Trying to be productive as best I can.
I'm also forcing myself to do a few things that I typically don't do. Live interviews, book readings, zoom chats.
I thought you might enjoy checking out a couple of those efforts. ;-)
Here's the interview I did last weekend for the Gay Mystery Podcast with Brad Shreve.
Thank you so much to everyone who turned up for the Noir at the Bar. I wasn't sure about the protocol, so I was backward about giving a shout-out to anyone, but I appreciated it so much. So great to look out and see your names and faces and scenic backdrops. NEXT TIME I WILL DO BETTER.
In the name of research for the Secrets and Scrabble series, I've been trying to create a cocktail called the Upside Down Pirate--and I'm having mixed results. (No pun intended.)
It started out as mix of Pineapple Upside-Down Martini and a Wrecked Pirate. Basically, I'm trying to sub vodka for rum and add blue curacao to the PUD (which is one of my all-time favorite martinis).
I think the secret might be cake flavored syrup? Or would that be too sweet?
Anyway, it's Friday night and I'm about to Zoom my bestie, and therefore it is cocktail hour. The SO is going to grill fake brats while we drink and catch-up. Drinks, a nice meal--he brought me roses the color of "bittersweet." It's a summery evening, but not warm enough for a night swim. Life goes on, and it's good. Different, but good.
I hope you're having a lovely evening--and will have a delightfully socially distanced weekend.
OH. Here's my recipe so far!
Ingredients
2 parts spiced rum
1 part coconut rum
2 parts pineapple juice (OR--tonight--I'm experimenting with coconut-pineapple juice)
Splash Blue Curacao
Splash of cake-flavored syrup (IS THIS A MISTAKE???)
Fresh Pineapple garnish
Maraschino Cherries garnish
Instructions
Add 1 cup ice to a shaker.
Add the rums, Blue Curacao, juice and syrup. Shake well. Pour in a martini glass. Garnish with pineapple and cherries.
A lot of my fiction is inspired by real life crime. Not that I lift cases wholesale, but I'll pick a murder from here, a motive from there... But there's nothing like a familiarity with true crime to teach you how often real life has to be toned down to create believable fiction.
Since so many of us are still stuck home with 57 channels and nothing on (I'm assuming you've already seen Tiger King -- SHE DID IT, SHE TOTALLY KILLED HER HUSBAND!!!!!) here are some of my favorite true crime documentaries, guaranteed to keep you entertained, and possibly amazed at the perfidy of your fellow humans.
The Imposter - I've recced this film a few times on this blog BUT YOU STILL HAVEN'T WATCHED IT, HAVE YOU? It strongly influenced my own Stranger on the Shore, although it's quite a different story. This one is sad and creepy and completely fascinating.
Don't F**k with Cats - The hunt for an internet troll turns into something very different and alarming for a team of online amateur sleuths. WARNING there's some truly disturbing cruelty to animals in this, but it's well worth watching (although I advise closing your eyes at those scenes).
The Jinx - HE DID IT, HE TOTALLY KILLED HIS WIFE!!! The documentary of the case that the Ryan Gosling film All Good Things is based on. This is another weird and creepy story that will have your scalp prickling when you're not actually gasping out-loud.
Soaked in Bleach - SHE DID IT, SHE TOTALLY KILLED HER HUSBAND!!! Documentary/Docudrama exploring the possibility that Courtney Love murdered Curt Cobain. Unsurprisingly, not everyone is persuaded by investigator Tom Grant's conclusions, but he makes a credible and convincing witness, in my humble opinion.
Amanda Knox - I CAN'T TELL IF SHE DID IT!!! Previous to watching this film, I didn't have much of an opinion about this case. I like to assume the police usually get it right, though familiarity with true crime docs have shaken that innocent confidence. This was a really alarming example of what happens when investigators go in with their minds already made up.
Do you have any fave documentaries you want to rec to our viewing audience? ;-)
I rarely do blog tours for book releases but hey. Everything old is new again, so just to kind of spread the word a bit, I'm doing a tour with Silver Dagger Book Tours for Secret at Skull House!
I'm REALLY out of practice with this stuff, so I'm not even sure if I offered giveaways or prizes. OOPS. Maybe I should have? Maybe at the end of the tour I'll give something away here--like I'll do a drawing from everyone who commented on every stop along the blog tour?
What should I giveaway? Hmmm. I'll have to think of something fun that can be global without involving a lot of packing or shipping.
But anyway! The book is live and I'm really happy about that.
Oh. I read in a review that the next installment is not out until next year. GULP. WHAT DOES THAT REVIEWER KNOW THAT I DON'T? SOMEONE TAKE MY TEMPERATURE. I'm actually working on the next installment now. I'm not setting it up for preorders, but that doesn't mean it's not coming out this year--I'm not setting anything new up for preorders for the foreseeable future. At least, not at Amazon.
I'm planning EIGHT of these books by the way. So...yeah.
I also read in ANOTHER review that cozy is a new genre to me. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Wait. What??? YOU LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT YOURSELF IN REVIEWS. So no. Actually, this is a homecoming for me. I cut my mystery writing teeth in the mainstream cozy genre. I had reasonably successful cozy series with both Pocket and Berkeley. I was a Mystery Guild Alternate Selection, for chrissake. And I am really loving writing cozy again. FOR NOW. I'm not giving up the FBI thrillers or the angsty standalones or my beloved bewitched and bewildered series, but I do find cozy is what works for me right now. It's...comforting.
But cozy is not for everyone. (Well, nothing is for everyone.) And that's okay. These are not going to be hugely romantic, although there is a slow but definite romantic arc. They are not going to be hugely angsty. They are not going to be hugely suspenseful. They are not going to be HUGELY ANYTHING because the whole point is to be light and diverting and reassuring that all is still well with the world.
EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT.
Nah, I'm kidding. I hope.
Anywhoooo. Here's the tour--and thank you so much to everyone taking part in it!
