Five Things I've Learned from Watching True Crime

 

I'm not sure why watching shows about people murdering each other is somehow less distressing right now than watching the news--maybe because the body count is so much lower on Dateline?

Whatever, I've definitely noticed a pattern of behaviors that I'm going to watch for moving forward. ;-D I don't mean in real life--I'm not planning on killing anyone, let alone becoming an amateur sleuth--but these are good reminders for writing crime fiction.

1 - The louder and more hysterical the person reporting the crime is, the more likely THEY are the killer. Especially if the person on the phone is a spouse. Talk about Bad Actors. In every sense of the word. Maybe it's because genuine shock often leaves people seeming weirdly cold and detached rather than, as might seem reasonable, screaming and hysterical. 

Also, addressing the victim while on the phone with the 911 operator is almost always a giveaway. 

"Oh Gina, Gina. Darling! Noooooo. Breathe!!"

YOU DID IT AND WE ALL KNOW YOU DID IT.

 

2 -  There is the exact same breakdown of skill and talent on any given police force as there is in any given office anywhere. You know how Beth (we'll call her Beth) never wants to refund customers to whom she recommended the wrong product? Well, if Beth were a cop--and she occasionally is--Beth would be the kind of cop who just goes with the first and obvious suspect and doesn't bother to run that DNA test. And eventually, twenty years later, Caren gets assigned to Cold Cases, runs the DNA, and discovers the wrong person has been sitting in jail for decades. 

WHOOPSIE.

Seriously, it's mind-blowing how often stuff falls through the cracks. But then it's mind blowing how many orders get dropped at my local coffee house. Despite the life or death stakes, a police force is only as good as its weakest barista.

3 - WHAT THE HELL WITH ALL THE MURDEROUS PASTORS??!!! 

4 -  Children will forgive (or blank-out) just about anything evil their parents do--including one parent murdering another--UNTIL THEY HAVE THEIR OWN KIDS. It's kind of fascinating to see how often this one plays out. Of course, it does kind of make sense given the fact that none of us really pay close attention to anything until we're about thirty. *cough* 

HEY, DAD, I JUST REMEMBERED MOM'S PURSE IS STILL SITTING IN THE BASEMENT ON TOP OF THAT TRUNK BEHIND THE AX DISPLAY...

5 - What is the aversion to divorce?! You don't want to share custody of the kids or pay alimony or split the DVD collection, so instead you KILL the person you've been sharing scrambled eggs with for the last ten years and risk losing everything. EVERYTHING. Because even an entire police force made of baristas knows the spouse is the #1 suspect. Even Beth can solve this one. Would it really have been so bad to have to divvy everything up fair and square? Worse than years of prison food and orange jumpsuits--not to mention you still have to pay lawyers fees? 

Yeesh.

What about you? Do you watch true crime? Do you have a favorite show? Do you have any true crime insights? 

Five Entertaining Crime Documentaries You're Sure to Enjoy

1 - Sour Grapes - How a geeky twenty-something conned the world of wine collecting (and ended up as the first person convicted of wine fraud in the US). If you love wine, but hate the pretentious nonsense that so often supersedes genuine passion for the grape, you'll enjoy this one a lot. The real hero here is the unassuming but determined third generation proprietor of Domaine Ponsot, who travels to the US, determined to unravel the mystery of who is counterfeiting his wines.

Stream-able on Netflix

2 - The Jinx - Frankly chilling miniseries based on the life and crimes of Robert Durst (maybe you've seen the Ryan Gosling film All Good Things?). I was convinced of Durst's guilt long before the final episode. Even so, I felt a genuine sense of shock when I heard Durst's off camera comments. While it's true, his mumbles could be interpreted another way, I think this is one of those times you go with your gut reaction.

Available on HBO and Amazon

3 - Beltracchi: The Art of Forgery -  A really fascinating insight into the art world--and the art underworld. I've seen a lot of films (both fiction and non-fiction) on art forgery, but I don't think I've ever seen one as informative and entertaining as this. Up until this documentary I think I dismissed the idea that forgery could be, well, an art in its own right. And while I don't applaud what this master forger did, holy moly he's an engaging guy.

Streamable on Netflix

4 - The Keepers - Given that I turned my back on Catholicism at age thirteen when I dramatically refused to make my Confirmation (and learned that if you're going to cancel a party, don't wait until the day of the party to do it), I'm not sure why I have residual defensiveness about the Catholic church. All those jokes about pregnant nuns and pedophile priests? Not funny IMHO. Be that as it may, this is the heartbreaking and horrifying story of the (officially) "unsolved" murder of a young nun in 1969 -- and the determined effort of some of her students to find justice for her.


This miniseries might be exclusive to Netflix? Not sure.



5 - Soaked in Bleach - If you wonder why Curt Cobain killed himself...maybe he didn't. In fact, after seeing this documentary, I'm convinced he didn't. Ex-cop now PI Tom Grant makes a very credible witness, and builds, I think, a pretty impressive circumstantial case.

Streamable on Netflix


And one bonus offering. I've mentioned The Imposter before. Nearly four years after he disappears from his home in Texas, Nicholas Barclay turns up safely in Spain claiming he was kidnapped. HEA? Keep watching. It's sad and creepy--and a cautionary tale about how vulnerable guilt and grief can make anyone.

Available on Amazon and elsewhere.