Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Advent Calendar - Day 2

 Good morning! How are you feeling? What are your plans for this holiday season? It's such a strange year. What are you doing to take care of yourself and keep this winter merry and bright? 

Today's little offering is just a poem and a picture. Both of which I love for their nostalgic feel.

Have a lovely, lovely day!






Christmas Stars

 by Marie Irish


The golden Christmas stars shine down


With a cheerful Christmas glow,


And twinkle a Yuletide message


To the busy world below;


They tell of the peace and good will


The Christmas time brings to earth,


The peace and good will all should feel


At this season of joy and mirth.



Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Advent Calendar - Day 1

 


Happy Holidays! 


Yep, through wind or rain or sleet or pandemic, the holidays are back. With a vengeance. Well, no. Hopefully NOT with a vengeance. We've had plenty of that already, thankyouverymuch. 


No question this has been one weird-ass year. And I'll be honest, my cup is not one-hundred-percent brimming with holiday cheer. Not yet. But I'm getting there. Day by day, snowflake by snowflake, I'm working my way toward Joy. Because really, there is LOT to be joyful for this year. Even if you have to stop and think about it. Hard. Sometimes. Sometimes it's been hard. But we're still alive. If you're reading this, you're still alive, and that's something. A starting point? However, I know some of us have had a HORRENDOUS time of it. So maybe, just maybe, I can do something to help that.


Because that's really the goal of this little "Advent calendar." To say thank you to my readers and to share a little bit of holiday fun.


So here is the now (probably familiar) drill. Every morning through Christmas Day there will be something  posted to this blog to start your day off with a smile.


Maybe I'll share a favorite holiday song or a lovely photo or a vintage cartoon or a cocktail recipe or maybe I'll give something away. Speaking of giveaways. Last years giveaways did not go out until last week, so some of you may have puzzled over receiving some oddball holiday items from Ebay or Etsy. THAT WAS ME. THAT WAS ME SENDING YOU YOUR PRIZE IN TIME FOR **THIS** YEAR'S HOLIDAY! I know what you're thinking--I think it too--but after all, a surprise delayed is a...evenmore surprising surprise. Right? The good news is I've ALREADY bought my vintage goodies for this year, so the prizes will go out much, much faster.

Some days we'll have fiction--sometimes from me or maybe from one of our talented contributors. Other days we'll have art, a poem...one thing for sure, every day I'll have some small little "gift" for you to enjoy.

And if you're feeling creative or inspired and would like to contribute something to this year's calendar, that would be terrific! Don't be shy. You can reach me right through my website or on Facebook. You'd be very welcome! 


Otherwise, there really is nothing for you to do but show up and enjoy--well, and to participate occasionally in so far as letting contributors know you're enjoying our efforts. (I'll be honest, it's a wee bit disappointing when we get 2800 views and only two comments. ;-))


But anyway, we're all doing the best we can. And the best I can do is this small attempt to say... 

Thank You! 

Thank you for your support throughout the year(s) whether it's through buying my books, contributing to my Patreon, writing reviews, sending me such kind letters, or simply spreading your enjoyment of my stories on social media. It all means so much. (And that's the truth.)


So here we go! Happy Holidays and may 2020 end with love, laughter and lots of happy surprises! Thank you--sincerely--for being here.

Comment below as to what you are most looking forward to this holiday season, and you'll be automatically entered into a drawing for a (vintage) small and kooky holiday-themed planter.


Thursday, November 26, 2020

Happy Thanksgiving!

 It's been such a very weird year. The kind of year where it you really have to concentrate on all there is to be grateful for in the midst of all there is to be worried about. But one of the advantages of focusing on gratitude is it helps with anxiety and depression. 

So here are five things I'm grateful for this Thanksgiving Day. I invite you to share your own five things in the comments below. 

FIVE THINGS I'M GRATEFUL FOR RIGHT THIS MINUTE

1 - Food and shelter (the basics, yes, but so many do not have these basics, so I am truly grateful that I do not have to worry about food and shelter. In fact, the only danger is that I take these things for granted. I don't ever want to take these things for granted.)

2 - That my depression, anxiety, creative ennui (?!) has lifted and I am eager to get back to work--and excited about the stories left to tell. 

3 - That everyone I love is still alive. Friends and family I most care about are so far still safe. Watching the terrifying numbers on the news each night, that is no small thing. I am deeply, deeply grateful for the health and safety of everyone I love. That includes those of you showing up today to read this post--I am very grateful that you're here and you're hanging in there. 

3a - Also the promise of a vaccine on the horizon. I'm very grateful for that.

4 - Chocolate. In fact, a veritable stockpile of chocolate. Some people panic over toilet paper. My fear was we would not have chocolate when we needed it most. ;-)

5 - The Marlowe and Spenser Comedy Hour--which turns out to run 24 hours a day. Our little four-footed kooks have provided cuddles and kisses and many, many laughs during some stressful hours. Also their need for routine has kept us on schedule.

Whatever you have to be grateful for, I hope the coming days are brimming over with it.



Wednesday, November 25, 2020

CHIRP AUDIO DEALS!

 


Yes, yes, I am running one hell of a lot of deals right now. And that's because I'm not planning on running many sales come December. So this is it.

What I'm doing in December is the annual Advent Calendar.  And here is your invitation to submit art, fiction, whatever to that endeavor. There are still slots left! 

Meanwhile, here's what's on sale through Chirp


A Case of Christmas

Baby it's Cold

The Dickens with Love

Snowball in Hell


These holiday favorites have all been submitted to Chirp for a $1.99 promotion that should run from November 25 through December 24. You can almost get all of them for what one of them typically costs! 

APPLE DEALS 

Green Glass Beads will be $1.99 (Dec. 1 - 30)

The Dangerous Ground Box Set - $2.99 (Dec. 1 - 30)


AND you know what, there's more, so maybe it's easier if you just pop over to my website. 




Tuesday, November 24, 2020

OH! A BOOKBUB DEAL

 


This one is for MAINLY BY MOONLIGHT and it's aimed at the United Kingdom, Canada, India and Australia. Of course, I went ahead and applied it to the US too (and probably elsewhere, although sometimes it's hard to tell). 

But anyway, it's on now and expires on the 25th. 

I'm hoping to have the third book out at the end of this month, so the timing is pretty good! Seriously, even if the timing was terrible, you can't beat .99 cents. 





Friday, November 20, 2020

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

 


OR John Joseph Galbraith. Which one should we talk about? 

THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION.

I've been making notes and working on the outline for Bell, Book and Scandal, and that means thinking through the ongoing character arcs of both Cosmo and John. I was surprised after I Buried a Witch by the readers who really did not seem to "get" John. Meaning that they did not seem to understand that John was an emotionally and psychologically complicated personality with a character arc before him.

I don't know why this always surprises me because I've noticed again and again that the very readers who claim they love difficult, complicated characters, often have a lot of trouble with characters who are indeed difficult and complicated outside of a preordained acceptable character traits bubble. 

I admit it. I like writing difficult characters. I like writing characters that push reader buttons. I like occasionally making readers uncomfortable. I'm not trying to write for everyone. I'm not studying the market and analyzing algorithms. I  write what interests me, moves me, inspires me to explore and understand. That's one reason why I quit writing for mainstream. ;-)

Anyway, I was thinking about John and the readers who were riled by him, and I wonder if there were some important clues that not everyone picked up on. Like, there's a big difference between what John says and what he does. John's communication style is very brusque, but his actions frequently do not line up with what he says. John talks a good distancing game, but when it comes to Cosmo, he does not actually preserve much distance.

Some of John's most important character reveals are sub-textual. But some of them are right there in
plain sight. 

For example, John's not sexually controlling. He's open and willing to anything Cosmo wants to do or not do. He specifically says Cosmo should have everything the way he likes every time he has sex. And as Cosmo's sexual interests change, John goes right along with out hesitation or hitch.



Also, right from the start--in Mainly by Moonlight--as ambitious as John professes to be--is--when it comes down to Cosmo or his big important job--even with all his (understandable) doubts and concerns about Cosmo--he chooses Cosmo.


This is a little one, but kind of key to both family dynamics and how John treats others. John backs Cosmo's position within the family hierarchy. We know (or think we know) John's not a patient guy, yet he's kind to his annoying and difficult mother and both loyal to, and protective of, his difficult young sister. He values Cosmo's input and opinions (as much or more than values anyone's--given that he is not a trusting person). Also he appears to remain courteous and respectful to Cosmo's family and friends, despite knowing they detest him. 


In I Buried a Witch, John gives what he believes is an ultimatum and when Cosmo calls his bluff, he backs down, eventually settling on the fairly minimal request of please don't use magic as a first resort. (Which is fair enough from someone who doesn't like magic. ) Should he have made the original request? It's called negotiation. 


Also, as controlling as John seems on the surface, he does forgive Cosmo for trying to use magic on him--not once, but a couple of times. In fact, after his initial rage (again we only see it through Cosmo's eyes) he attempts to retreat from Cosmo. He does not attack him or punish him. He's not out to destroy Cosmo. He doesn't reveal any of Cosmo's secrets.


It's tricky because we mostly see John through Cosmo's eyes, and Cosmo feels insecure and uncertain of the relationship. Subtext is important when analyzing John. But so are Cosmo's behaviors. He repeatedly ignores John's orders and demands--other than the evening where John discovers Cosmo is a magical being who attempted to repeatedly use magic on him--Cosmo shows little real fear of anything but John not loving him. In fact, overall, Cosmo is pretty much a blithe spirit.


And finally, I'd have insisted on the pool too. :-D I mean, he did give Cosmo half the backyard, and Cosmo is a fully cognizant adult, not a tiny child to wander off and fall in the pool. 


Those are my thoughts. YMMV? 

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

MORE KINDLE COUNTDOWN DEALS!

 


THE ART OF MURDER series


Oops! Surprise. The Mermaid Murders has already fallen out of Kindle Unlimited, so I couldn't get a Kindle Countdown Deal for that title (AND I need to list it wide again). But the following titles are Countdown Deals starting the 19th.



The Monet Murders

 November 19, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST) 32h $0.99

 November 20, 2020 at 4:00 PM (PST) 32h $1.99

 November 22, 2020 at 12:00 AM (PST) 32h $2.99

(Ends November 23, 2020 at $4.99)


The Magician Murders

  November 19, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST) 32h $2.99

  November 20, 2020 at 4:00 PM (PST) 32h $3.99

  November 22, 2020 at 12:00 AM (PST) $4.99 1

(Ends November 23, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST))


The Monuments Men Murders

 November 19, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST) 32h $2.99

 November 20, 2020 at 4:00 PM (PST) 32h $3.99

 November 22, 2020 at 12:00 AM (PST) 32h $4.99

(Ends November 23, 2020 at 8:AM)



Same deal with Secret at Skull House. I wasn't able to get a Kindle Countdown Deal in the little time it has left in KU. However, Murder at Pirate's Cove goes on sale Friday the 20th



Murder at Pirate's Cove

 November 20, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST) 24h $1.99

 November 21, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST) 24h $2.99

 November 22, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST) 24h $3.99

(Ends November 23, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST))


Friday, November 13, 2020

KINDLE COUNT DOWN DEALS THIS MONTH

 


At the end of this month, most of my titles will be back in wide distribution, so if you've been aggravated by so many series being exclusive to Kindle Unlimited, good news. 

But before I yank everything, I'm doing a bunch of Kindle Countdown Deals, starting today.

Here's what is currently on sale through Amazon.com.

KINDLE COUNTDOWN DEALS


THE HOLMES AND MORIARITY SERIES


Somebody Killed His Editor:

November 13, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST) $0.99

November 15, 2020 at 4:00 AM (PST) $1.99


All She Wrote:

November 13, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST) $1.99

November 14, 2020 at 1:00 PM (PST) 29h $2.99

November 15, 2020 at 6:00 PM (PST) 30h $3.99



Boy With the Painful Tattoo:

November 13, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST) 29h $2.99

November 14, 2020 at 1:00 PM (PST) 29h $3.99

November 15, 2020 at 6:00 PM (PST) 30h $4.99


In Other Words...Murder:

November 13, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST) 29h $2.99

November 14, 2020 at 1:00 PM (PST) 29h $3.99

November 15, 2020 at 6:00 PM (PST) 30h $4.99





SHORT STORIES VOLUME 1

November 13, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST) 29h $0.99

November 14, 2020 at 1:00 PM (PST) 29h $3.99 

November 15, 2020 at 6:00 PM (PST) 30h $6.99 









THE DANGEROUS GROUND BOX SET


November 16, 2020 at 8:00 AM (PST) $2.99

November 18, 2020 at 5:00 AM (PST) $4.99

November 20, 2020 at 2:00 AM (PST) $6.99


There are many more sales coming this month, so don't forget to check back! 

Book Cancellation: THE HAUNTED HEART: SPRING

 Maybe I just waited too long to tackle this one. I don't think I can completely blame it on the pandemic, though clearly that didn't help. I've started and stopped at least a dozen times. It's completely outlined. I've got whole scenes playing out in my mind. I've got the covers. I even did a couple of trailers and teasers. I tried to do a playlist. I tried every inspire-creativity trick I know, but the story and the characters just seemed to drift farther and farther away.

I've read such stupid comments about books being delayed and cancelled. As though this was something a writer did simply to disappoint and anger readers. No writer wants to cancel a book. I wouldn't have dragged this out for years, if I'd actually wanted to cancel. 


In fact, disappointing readers is the last thing I want to do. I know how this feels and I hate doing it. I've had it happen to me, and when it does, I feel that exact same frustrated why can't they just write the damn thing?! 

Just from a practical standpoint... The first little novella earned over 30K. Spring had about 2000 preorders. I'd already sold the audio rights on the sequel (which now have to be repaid). So there was every practical incentive to complete this project. 

So no, I really, really, really did not want to have to cancel this one. I mean, it was just a novella!!! Thirty thousand words! Why the hell couldn't I come up with a measly thirty thousand words?!! 

I don't know why, but I couldn't. 

I don't feel the characters anymore. There's no...emotional connection. Also having waited so long, I ran into the problem of other people's expectations. It's the lesson of The Ghost Had an Early Check-out. I waited too long on that one too, and readers had too much time to decide the story they wanted--which turned out to not be the story I had in mind. And then there were the hostile comments and negative reviews because Spring had already been delayed. I'll be honest. That kind of thing is a disincentive for moving ahead with a project you're already struggling with. 

And I don't doubt that that's the goal of negative comments and hostile reviews of a book not yet written. This time it worked. This time I didn't have enough faith in the project to forge ahead anyway. I read over the outline, and it's like someone else wrote it.


Anyway, my creative energy still feels fragile, so I'm only doing what really interests me, what I'm eager to work on, what I know I can and will finish. 

If the time comes when I feel different about this project, when I can remember what made me want to write about Flynn and Kirk in the first place, I promise you I will. But for now, sadly, this one is shelved. 


Friday, October 30, 2020

New Release: REQUIEM FOR MR. BUSYBODY


 New short story out today.

Not the book I had planned for or originally intended to write, but... I can't lie. I'm hugely, HUGELY relieved to have broken through whatever that was. Burnout? Dry spell? Creative force field?

I don't know, because the last time I suffered from burnout, it was actually a really productive period. I did a ton of planning and reading and note-taking. This wasn't like this. This was like a prolonged blank. I wasn't interested in reading or watching movies--I could tolerate nothing fictional. After an initial burst of listing preorders and a few sales, I suddenly lost interest in...everything. Well, other than my dogs, my garden, my family. I've never felt anything like it.

Writing was an absolute impossibility. 

I'm not sure what exactly broke the spell given that the pandemic is spiking bigtime and my anxiety over the election is absolutely out of control. But something has changed. I feel calmer. Not optimistic, exactly, but calmer. Fatalistic? Whatever. I've started writing codas again for Patreon, I felt driven to complete this little story, and I'm actually looking forward to losing myself in the world of Cosmo and John.

That said, I don't trust myself right now. I have no idea how I'll feel after the election or in the coming months. But I'm writing right now and that's the good news.


BLURB:

“Maybe you’ll be next, Mr. Busybody!”

 

From well-respected investigative journalist to resident busybody.

When former crime reporter Michael’s elderly friend Maurice suddenly disappears, he fears the worst. But Michael is unable to investigate, and no one is taking his suspicions seriously—least of all Nico, Maurice’s too slick, too smooth, possibly guilty boyfriend.

The only person Michael can think of who might listen is Leonard Drake, now a Lieutenant Detective with NYPD.

In fact, this excuse to contact his ex might just be what Michael has been waiting three years for.

 

EXCERPT


The phone at the other end rang long enough that I started to count, and then it clattered off the hook and a deep, pleasant voice said, “Drake. Homicide.”

Never one to waste words, NYPD Lt. Detective Leonard Drake.

Given that we hadn’t spoken in three years, I was caught off guard by how familiar his voice was. The warm rush of memories? Equally unexpected.

I released the breath I’d been holding. “Hey,” I said cheerfully. “Your misspent youth is calling.”

A couple of very long seconds ticked by before Len said slowly, “Michael Woolrich. There’s a blast from the past.”

Not that I expected confetti and kazoos, but that total lack of emotion was hard to read.

“To what do I owe this honor?” Len added.

“I don’t know about honor, but I might have a murder for you.”

Maybe I imagined the creak of a chair in the background, but Len’s voice was definitely more cordial, more relaxed as he replied, “Do tell.”

Murder was what had first brought us together. Our mutual raison d’être. Murder had been the only thing we had in common, as it turned out. That’s what I told myself, anyway.

“The victim—possible victim—is Maurice Moreau. He went missing—appears to have gone missing—four nights ago. I think his partner killed him.”

“And you know Maurice how?”

“He’s a friend.” I corrected, “He’s a neighbor I’m friendly with.”

Len repeated thoughtfully, “A neighbor you’re friendly with.”

“Yes.”

“Where are you living now?”

“The Fontainebleau in Chelsea.”

“Swanky.”

I laughed. “Maybe once. Maybe in the forties. But yeah, great atmosphere if you don’t mind a few ghosts.”

“And you think your friendly neighbor Maurice has now joined the celestial choir?”

I felt myself smiling at Len’s turn of phrase. You don’t expect metaphors from a cop, at least not outside Chandler, but Len was not your ordinary cop. For one thing, he was no-bones-about-it gay, and while yes, every police force in the country is trying to be—or appear that they’re trying to be—more diverse and less discriminatory, in my experience, openly gay officers are still a rarity.

“I’m afraid so. Yes.”

“Maybe he’s on vacation,” Len suggested. “Maybe he’s visiting relatives. Maybe he and the boyfriend are on a second honeymoon. What makes you think Maurice is dead?”

I didn’t really want to go into the Rear Window aspect, didn’t want Len to know how much time I spent observing my neighbors, didn’t want him to think I was developing voyeuristic tendencies in my old age. Although, Talese was right—all journalists are voyeurs at heart.

I said, “Partly because of the way Nico, Maurice’s partner, is behaving. Partly because Maurice once said if anything ever happened to him, look no further than Nico.”

Silence.

Len said in his slow, considering way, “That’s quite a revelation from someone you describe as a neighbor rather than a friend.”

“I know. And he was joking—mostly—when he said it. But…”

“But now that Maurice has ‘disappeared,’ you think maybe he was serious. You said something about the way Nico is acting. How is Nico acting?”

“Evasive, in my opinion.” Also dismissive, patronizing, bored, annoyed—but that was Nico’s usual attitude toward me, so I didn’t place undue importance on it.

Len’s tone remained neutral as he suggested, “Maybe Nico feels that Maurice’s whereabouts are none of your business.”

“Maybe.”

I waited. If Len was the Len I remembered… But three years is a long time. Len didn’t owe me any favors. And no one knew better than me how far-fetched my story sounded.

Len said finally, “I’ll be blunt. This is so thin, it’s transparent. Anyone but you, Michael, I’d be tempted to tell you to butt out of other people’s relationships.”

I winced, opened my mouth, but Len wasn’t finished. “You always had a nose for trouble, so unless you’ve changed a lot, I have to assume you’re maybe onto something.”

We could take it for granted I’d changed a lot. Physically, for sure, but also mentally, emotionally, and probably spiritually. Not that I’d ever been very spiritual, unlike Len, who was a practicing Episcopalian and sang in his church choir every Sunday.

“I could be wrong,” I said. “I hope I am. But if I went missing, I’d like to think someone out there might notice and at least ask a couple of questions.”

“And that’s about all I can promise,” Len said. “We’ll ask a few questions and see what the boyfriend has to say.”

Relief washed through me. Not just the relief that here was help for Maurice, help I couldn’t provide on my own. The relief of being believed, of being taken seriously again. I missed being taken seriously.

But the last three years had taught me to be cautious.

“If my name could be kept out of it, I’d appreciate it.”

“Of course.”

“Thank you, Len.” I meant it. “I owe you one.”

He said crisply, “No. You don’t owe me anything. I quit keeping score a long time ago.”

I was still trying to think of a reply when he hung up.

----

It's not listed everywhere yet, but I'm getting there.

 

Amazon

Smashwords

Kobo

Google Play

B&N 

Apple

Friday, September 25, 2020

5 Things That Cheer Me Up Right Now

 


I don't know about you, but I really did NOT think we would still be in full pandemic mode this fall. 

Or rather, I thought we'd be bracing up to the possibility of a second wave, not still dealing with the first. But here we are heading into flu season while never having really got a handle on the pandemic. In fact, a third of the country firmly believes it's all made up. LOL. Because... 

That part of the conspiracy remains vague. I mean, to be a serious PLOT you've got to have a concrete goal. There has to be a pragmatic outcome. Like World Domination. Like a zillion billion dollars ransom. I mean THOSE ARE THE RULES OF EVILDOING. 

But I digress. The fact is, you can get used to anything, and I'm getting used to this. We all are. 

And lest you think it's all doom and gloom at Chez Lanyon, nothing of the kind! Luckily, the SO and I are extremely compatible thanks to a mutual love of murder and mystery. We literally never run out of anything to blab about whether it's the latest episode of Dateline, something I'm writing, something he's writing, or a debate over the merits of the Perry Mason books (uh yeah, they're not TV tie-ins, as I was entertained to see someone insisting in an online discussion) versus the original movies (recommended if you love old movies!) versus the TV series and the TV series reboot (I love William Katt! Whatever happened to William Katt!) versus the latest and weakest incarnation on HBO (but oh my God excellent acting and how beautifully filmed it was!). I have the dogs and the garden and my cocktail shaker--and let me tell you, I am becoming one hell of a mixologist. 

In fact, let me share my latest invention. It's called The Tipsy Mermaid. It's very sweet but carries an unexpected punch, just like a real mermaid. *cough* IF there was such a thing as mermaids.

1 oz cake vodka

1 oz Chambord

1 oz blue Curacao

1 oz cranberry-blackberry juice 


 (Also I now have TWO alternate recipes for Raspberry Lemon Drops, but I'll save those for another day.)

And I have my writing. Sort of. I mean, it's shaky, it's still more theoretical than practical, but I am working and I am making very slow progress. 

In fact, yesterday I outlined a short story called 44.1644° NORTH. It's going to be in the second short story collection (although if you're in Patreon, you'll be getting it for free) due out in January. I'm currently working on Bell, Book and Scandal, and yes, I do actually plan to have that one out for Halloween. Blessed be.

So yeah, I'm feeling more optimistic, more in control again, and here are five of the things I find most comforting right now.

1 - YouTube Beauty Bloggers. OH, I KNOW. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW. But there is something really soothing about watching people who know what they're doing, apply eyeshadow. All those paint boxes and tubes of color! Gorgeous color. How can you NOT enjoy all that color? Make up is transformative. Self care is healthy. YMMV but to each their own and I do own a LOT of eyeshadow.

Last week one of my favorite beauty bloggers did what I found to be a really interesting bit on urgency, and how so much of the pressure we feel is self-inflicted. I thought I would share it. And also holy moly can this woman do things with eyeshadow!





2 - Coffee Table books. I don't think those of us in the States are going to be traveling much until 2022. Just my opinion. So I'm reminding myself of everything out there, past and present and imaginary through the application of art and coffee table travel books. In particular I'm loving Slim Aarons right now. If you don't know Aarons, he documented a world that never really existed for most people, but yet that somehow continues to shape our own concept of class, elegance, and how the other half should live. 


3 - Gardening. It's officially autumn, so it's time to start closing up shop for the winter, but my garden has been a huge source of comfort this summer. There's just something really centering about sunlight and damp earth and the smell of flowers and the hum of bees. A garden teaches patience like nothing else.


4 - Coloring books. Yes! Coloring books. When all this madness started, I was playing a lot of Candy Crush and so forth, and I felt like that just had to stop. That was just too...numb. So I moved over to coloring books, which it turns out I have tons of (also lots of wonderful pencils and crayons--largely unused) and it's been really relaxing to listen to the news or listen to the SO rant about the news while I color in my coloring books. ;-) I'm not very good, but I can stay within the lines, and maybe in the end, that's all that really matters. 


5 - Goldbelly. A dear friend sent me a gift certificate to Goldbelly a while back--and then another friend sent me the most delicious pies--and eventually I figured out that Goldbelly was a way to sample legendary and fantastic foods from across the country from the comfort of your own quarantine cell pretty much whenever you wanted. Wow. 


So that's it. Those are my tips for staying sane during Phase 2 of Our Pandemic. What about you? Do you have any good tips? How are you coping these days?  



Friday, September 18, 2020

Five Things I've Learned from Watching True Crime

 

I HATE THE NEW BLOGGER

I'm not sure why watching shows about people murdering each other is somehow less distressing right now than watching the news--maybe because the body count is so much lower on Dateline?

Whatever, I've definitely noticed a pattern of behaviors that I'm going to watch for moving forward. ;-D I don't mean in real life--I'm not planning on killing anyone, let alone becoming an amateur sleuth--but these are good reminders for writing crime fiction.


1 - The louder and more hysterical the person reporting the crime is, the more likely THEY are the killer. Especially if the person on the phone is a spouse. Talk about Bad Actors. In every sense of the word. Maybe it's because genuine shock often leaves people seeming weirdly cold and detached rather than, as might seem reasonable, screaming and hysterical. 

Also, addressing the victim while on the phone with the 911 operator is almost always a giveaway. 

"Oh Gina, Gina. Darling! Noooooo. Breathe!!"

YOU DID IT AND WE ALL KNOW YOU DID IT.

 

2 -  There is the exact same breakdown of skill and talent on any given police force as there is in any given office anywhere. You know how Beth (we'll call her Beth) never wants to refund customers to whom she recommended the wrong product? Well, if Beth were a cop--and she occasionally is--Beth would be the kind of cop who just goes with the first and obvious suspect and doesn't bother to run that DNA test. And eventually, twenty years later, Caren gets assigned to Cold Cases, runs the DNA, and discovers the wrong person has been sitting in jail for decades. 

WHOOPSIE.

Seriously, it's mind-blowing how often stuff falls through the cracks. But then it's mind blowing how many orders get dropped at my local coffee house. Despite the life or death stakes, a police force is only as good as its weakest barista.


3 - WHAT THE HELL WITH ALL THE MURDEROUS PASTORS??!!! 


4 -  Children will forgive (or blank-out) just about anything evil their parents do--including one parent murdering another--UNTIL THEY HAVE THEIR OWN KIDS. It's kind of fascinating to see how often this one plays out. Of course, it does kind of make sense given the fact that none of us really pay close attention to anything until we're about thirty. *cough* 

HEY, DAD, I JUST REMEMBERED MOM'S PURSE IS STILL SITTING IN THE BASEMENT ON TOP OF THAT TRUNK BEHIND THE AX DISPLAY...


5 - What is the aversion to divorce?! You don't want to share custody of the kids or pay alimony or split the DVD collection, so instead you KILL the person you've been sharing scrambled eggs with for the last ten years and risk losing everything. EVERYTHING. Because even an entire police force made of baristas knows the spouse is the #1 suspect. Even Beth can solve this one. Would it really have been so bad to have to divvy everything up fair and square? Worse than years of prison food and orange jumpsuits--not to mention you still have to pay lawyers fees? 

Yeesh.


What about you? Do you watch true crime? Do you have a favorite show? Do you have any true crime insights? 

Monday, September 7, 2020

Happy Labor Day!

 Wherever, whoever, whatever. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are keeping us afloat--and the rest of us notice and appreciate it.