Friday, September 28, 2018
The Sunday Woman
The guilt is interesting because I know that there are very real, completely practical reasons to support this decision--the decision to take time for myself--but when there is so much to do--ALWAYS SO MUCH TO DO--it feels...wrong.
Now, when I say "taking weekends off," that's a bit of a misnomer because I usually work all the way through the weekend. But I don't tend to write--and the stuff I do is whatever I feel like crossing off the list rather than what is next on the list.
And yet I still feel like I'm getting away with something.
The decision to take the weekend has become a conscious one, but it started out with just being too tired to be effective. I started taking longer lunches on the weekend and then I started knocking off at lunch time. And eventually it turned into full blown, I'm not sure what I'll do today!
It feels like quite the luxury to just do whatever occurs to me--be it laundry or taking a turn at cooking dinner or wrapping parcels for Patreon or outlining notes for a brand new project. It feels like this is why I wanted to work for myself. So I could actually have some control over my life.
Anyway, that's what's happening on the weekends now. Rest and recharging. And it does seem to be paying off in some ways because I'm feeling much more creative again. Not only do I have ideas for new projects, I feel like I have the energy to pull them off.
What I don't have is extra time, but the funny thing is how the decision to stop obsessing about time has seemed to generate extra time. Maybe it just feels like that because I'm working more effectively?
Anyway, Happy Friday!