I mean, to the best of my knowledge, this is what is happening.
Because, honestly, this year.
I no longer have any kind of schedule because everything is so far out of whack. The problem with stacking so many preorders SO close together is, if one slides, it starts an avalanche, and that's kind of where we are now.
(Which is why there is so little scheduled for next year. It's not that I don't plan to write, but I'll be mostly writing without deadlines. Because right now, at this moment in time, the very concept of DEADLINES ratchets up my anxiety and stress like nobody's business.)
Obviously--I mean, I hope it's obvious?--I'm doing my best to complete the final three projects of the year: Body at Buccaneer Bay, The Movie-Town Murders, and Hide and Seek. But I'm not going to offer release dates anymore, beyond saying, I'm going as fast as I can. Having made everyone wait, I'm trying to make sure the books are the best I can make them. I don't want to slop them out just because I'm dreading missing another deadline. I mean, if I was going to do that, I could've put these books out months ago and saved everyone a lot of exasperation.
The good news is, I just got back from two weeks of vacation, and I feel better than I have in, literally, years. Two years, to be exact. So I'm WAY calmer and a lot more optimistic. I'm even, dare I say it, productive. Or at least, I've had a very productive week.
The bad news is, I can't magically fix the mess I'm in as far as missed deadlines and not enough time to do All The Things. I'm tackling the projects before me one at a time. I really, really do not want anything to slip into 2022. But there's a lot to do and we're entering the manic distractions of the holiday season. I'm trying to be optimistic but realistic, which is why I'm making no promises. Or at least, no promise beyond the promise to do my best.
One thing at a time. That's my mantra.
I will say, this is a weird position to find myself in. I mean, I've missed deadlines before, I've been through burn out, I've struggled with anxiety and depression, but I've never been through anything like the past two years. And I know I'm not alone, I know my situation is not unique, I know that the angrier and more frustrated with myself I get, the deeper the hole I dig. I know these things. I accept these things.
The only way out is one word, one sentence, one paragraph, one page at a time. So that's what I'm doing. That's where we are.
Thank you for listening.
You're worth the wait.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Steve. <3
DeleteLove and respect you, my friend. You are right, the last 2 years have been like nothing before. Hang in there... one word, one sentence, one paragraph, one page is all any of us can do. When the works come, we'll be here!
ReplyDelete<3 <3 <3
DeleteI think anyone who really likes your writing will deal with it. The 2 last years are catching hard with all of us (I was very serene during the first year but now I'm a mess physically and mentally) and that's the way it is. Nobody has a right to deny you to be human and feel anxious.
ReplyDeleteAnd as Steve stated: you worth the wait <3
Maybe it's because I was overinvested in the idea that this year would be better, would be normal? Or just... things happened this year that took some getting past? I don't know, but it was definitely a more difficult year physically, emotionally, creatively, and even spiritually.
DeleteAs much as I enjoy new Josh stuff, take care of you first!!! I can wait.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Denise. <3
DeleteThank you for the update.
ReplyDeleteIt was a struggle getting to the point of being able to admit where things stand.
DeleteYes, please don't rush.
ReplyDelete<3 I don't think anyone could accuse me of rushing at this point. ;-D
DeleteI understand your frustration and your need to produce and satisfy readers. As a reader, I will wait patiently for you. I love your stories and I love the care with which you write them. Take your time. We readers are here and will wait again. A big hug and positive thoughts for you.
ReplyDeleteYou're so kind. Thank you so much. <3
DeleteLooking forward to whenever the books are coming. Esp. Movie-Town Murders. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! There's something about the dynamic between Sam and Jason that I just love writing.
DeleteI hate that it seems like you feel obligated to write. It should be that you’re doing it because you enjoy it. I’m happy to wait for whatever you can give us because you wanted to not because you had to. I like that you plan to take it a day at a time and that’s all your fans have a right to expect. Happy writing 😁
ReplyDeleteWell, I think that's the problem when something you do for love becomes your livelihood. Once deadlines and dollars are attached, some of the freedom and fun is inevitably lost. I think a lot of the pleasure will come back with a more realistic schedule. Making that happen is my new goal in life. :-)
DeleteTotally Agree. You are definitely worth the wait. Don't stress. We will be here.
ReplyDeleteYou're so kind. Thank you.
DeleteI've read nearly all of your books and enjoyed most of them. But now I am writing you off. So many excuses. I'm done with ya.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy not to care what someone like you thinks. Zero fucks to give, baby. :-)
DeleteGo get 'em, Tiger! I used to be a people person until people ruined it for me 😂
DeleteI love you so much, especially when you stand up for yourself.
DeleteIts good to hear that you don't have any fucks to give, especially to people who supported you faithfully on your patreon account for years like I have. I have also grown tired of all the excuses and missed deadlines. I paid you many dollars since you first put up your account and can honestly say I didn't get much of a return for it. I wish you the best, and will still definitely buy your books but can no longer give any money. So after seeing your comment above, Im sure you'll be happy to see me fuck off also. Bad way to treat your fans.
Delete"I have also grown tired of all the excuses and missed deadlines."
DeleteAll the excuses? Oh, you mean like finding a dead child and being unable to write for eight months?
Yeah, my bad.
So here's the thing about Patreon. It's true, I don't always manage to give the rewards I promised, so I make up for that by giving EXTRA books and extra audio and extra extras. Things that, were we to actually attach monetary value to, would come out WAY in the favor of the patrons at your level.
Oh, but wait! We don't know what your level was, do we? Because you're hiding behind ANONYMOUS.
Such a safe and comfy place to be--ANONYMOUS--the perfect place to say any ridiculous or outrageous or insulting thing you want.
So, do I care what some anonymous person on the internet says or thinks? No. I really, truly do not.
Zero. Fucks. To. Give.
Good for you, Josh. Anyone unwilling to put their name to ugly public posts is a coward who deserves all the anonymity life can give them.
DeleteIt's fine to have issues with an author, but those can be expressed without being deliberately hurtful. (It has happened here and at Patreon.) Anyone on this blog knows the godawful experience Josh went through, in addition to COVID stuff. Only a bully kicks someone while they're down. On the other hand, now Anonymous has time to spend with friends. Oh. Wait... Awkward.
My name is Maureen. I was at the $10.00 level on Patreon and I was definitely did not say anything bullying or hurtful and I don't think the first "anonymous" did either. Josh, I did not say anything outrageous/ridiculous or insulting to you. I only stated that I felt that I could not continue to spend my hard earned money monthly. I still will support you by buying your books because I do think you are one of the best m/m authors around. And Binkabunny please point out what I said was hurtful or bullying? I am entitled to my opinion that I felt I wasn't getting what I felt was promised as a patron. I am aware and sorry for what Josh has gone through but I am entitled to an opinion which was not said in a hurtful or bullying manner.
DeleteHi Maureen,
DeleteI'm going to take you at your word that you really don't understand why what you said as "anonymous" might be misconstrued as rude, insulting, hurtful, etc.
So let me explain as the person on the receiving end of your comment.
First of all, I can't tell tone from an anonymous message, and maybe you intended your tone to sound merely disappointed and a kindly reminder that last year patreons--particularly patreons at the three-dollar level--did not receive the rewards promised.
The problem is you were challenging my response to an earlier poster who ALSO used words like "excuses" and said, "I'm writing ya off."
AND you're doing it in a public forum rather than privately explaining that as much as you'd like to support me, you just don't feel you're getting your money's worth.
(For the record, I have ZERO problem with that. I am grateful (and amazed) at every single penny that comes in through Patreon. No one owes me a damn thing--beyond the nominal courtesy and respect we should try and show our fellow humans--and no one is obliged to buy my books either.)
So you charged into a public forum to take me to task and to support the comments of the first poster. Whether you like it or not, that is rude and insulting.
Why do I think it is insulting to have my excuses called out for being excuses?
Because some "excuses" are out of our control. Being ill is out of our control. Being traumatized is out of our control. Even writer's block or burn out is out of our control.
Some excuses are actually explanations, which I felt I owed my readers. So for the first poster to jump in on a long explanation of what the hell I've been dealing with for months, and call those "excuses," is insulting. Was *meant* to be insulting.
And I get it, receiving different rewards from the rewards you were promised, is still not receiving the rewards you were promised.
And I also understand that burn-out is hard to understand from the outside. From the outside it seems like the person claiming burn out should just pull themselves together and deliver the goods. It looks lazy and self-indulgent and irresponsible.
Likewise, the trauma of trying to save someone you ultimately can't save, probably seems like something that should be shaken off and forgotten. To be honest, I didn't realize--or want to accept--how traumatic that experience was. It's taken me months to be able to think of it without crying,
Her little pink swing still hangs from their backyard porch--where I see it every time I pull back my bedroom drapes.
I had a HELL of a year in 2021.
But that is nobody's fault and no one's problem but my own. I was not looking for sympathy or anything but, perhaps, less bitching and moaning as I explained why I had been having to readjust my schedule so much.
I mean, Jesus Christ, we're talking about delaying a made up story about made up people, and real live people are angry and rude about it?
Maureen, you are absolutely entitled to your opinion, but if you don't want push-back, be honest with yourself about where, why and how you're expressing that opinion--and what results you're hoping to achieve. You could have messaged me privately. You *wanted* to do it publicly. You wanted to make a point.
As do I.
Maureen, the definition of bullying is harming those perceived as vulnerable.
DeleteIf it was your post I responded to, then that definition fits. Josh admitted that psychologically and emotionally she was struggling and it had greatly affected her ability to create. The 'anonymous' response offered no sympathy, empathy. Just complaints that the trauma she suffered by watching a baby die (and other things) wasn't "excuse" enough for you to have been inconvenienced. Taking to a public forum to to tell her that you'd had enough of her... disrespect to readers? ... was bullying (piling on) at worst and just plain rude at the least. Feel free to respond but I stand by my post (and opinion) and am moving on.
NO worries! We'll all be here whenever your books land! Wishing you much inspiration and peace.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Tashya.
DeleteBless you. I don't know how ANYONE could feel creative after the trauma of the last 2-4 years. You're fabulous and amazing and strong and you always will be worth waiting for. 🙂
ReplyDeleteI’m saddened by the negative comment. Your writing is excellent and remains so because you won’t published anything you feel is inferior. There are plenty of other authors to read while I wait for your latest. Please know that those of us who love you far outweigh those who don’t.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how we got to a place (well I have some conjectures... social media et al) where writers are expected to produce produce produce regardless of how their lives are going. I remember waiting (and waiting) with my daughters for the next Philip Pullman book to come out, but it never occurred to us to become irate with the author. Quality over quantity or speed. Your books are always high quality and worth the wait.
ReplyDeleteI just hope you take care of yourself and enjoy. I think I have three of your books preordered and they’ll come when they do. If they don’t I’ll miss them but I would not want you to see the interest and support of your readers as a shackle. You have already given us so many stories to read and reread. Thanks, be well, and happy holidays.
ReplyDeleteinteresting - it never occurred to me to wonder why and how writers decide which and book to write and when. I always thought (silly me, believing in hollywood tropes) that writers go with the muse. and if Erato is not with you, then you don't write. I really can't see how anyone can write a book without inspiration: none of yours sound like the muse is not with you.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to wait for your new books: no matter how much you write, as long as you wake up in the morning there's always gonna be a new one to wait for ;-)
as for the post itself: I'm glad you shared with us. we are glad to listen. are you listening too? it seems you're really trying to convince yourself (sorry, no sarcasm, judgement, criticism nor any combination. just asking - maybe it didn't occur to you. feel free to curse me - I'm a witch, so I'm protected :-D )
so have a very creative and productive last 6 weeks of the year, and go with the flow. Who knows? maybe next year you'll have the idea for a new carachter (and here I'm missing the thumbs up emoji)
You can only do what's best for you, Josh. :) We will gladly wait and encourage you along the way! Taking your time and doing your best will make the end results only that much sweeter. For us, as readers, and, for you, as a creator.
ReplyDeleteTake care! <3
What Steve said. Remember, you're a writer and your readers don't own you. I think the scheduled release concept is an artifact of our current culture where attention spans of any length are going extinct. Whatever your pace is, it's acceptable, because you are creating something new each time.
ReplyDeleteHi Josh,
ReplyDeleteFellow author and blogger here. I just stopped by to tell you that one of my readers listed your books in her top books of the year. I thought you'd probably enjoy knowing that (I know I would!) The post is up and there will be other posts from readers in the following weeks. I'll also be sending out a notice in my NL about the various top read posts in early December. My blog is at: www.BearMountainBooks.com. It was supposed to be a "Top five reads for 2021" but none of my readers can count. At least not so far! :)
Hi Josh
ReplyDeleteLove your books. I don’t mind the wait. You’ve already produced so much fantastic material, I’ll just reread your existing books. Deadlines are atrociously stressful, I hope you feel better soon. Thanks