Friday, March 13, 2020
HAPPY SPRING! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
I'm a kidder.
But I won't deny I'm a bit anxious right now. I mean, remember when I injured my back? Imagination can be a curse at times like these.
But anyway, time for an update.
I can't deny that I'm having trouble writing. It's not that I undervalue the service I provide by offering quality entertainment at a time when people desperately need distraction and comfort. What I do matters, and that's a good feeling. No, it doesn't matter like having enough respirators matter. No, it doesn't matter like having strong, sensible leadership matters, but hey. We take what we can get. In this case, mystery and romance with a few laughs.
I'd set a very ambitious schedule for myself for the first part of this year, and although I landed those first two jumps, the third is beginning to wobble, and I don't know about the fourth and fifth. It's not easy to make a souffle during an earthquake, you know what I mean?
My parents are elderly and not in great health. The SO has a couple of health issues that keep me awake at night. But then again, EVERYTHING keeps me awake at night right now.
And yes, I know I'm lucky. I can work at home. So long as I can work, we will have some kind of income. We have a freezer full of food and cupboards full of essentials. Like most even minimally educated people, we've known for a very long time PANDEMIC was a real risk and we're reasonably prepared. But reasonably prepared only takes you so far in a country where the agencies created to handle this kind of situation were dismantled because who needs the federal government when the private sector could be making money on things like tests and medical equipment?
DON'T GET ME STARTED.
Of course I'm angry. Anyone with a brain is angry because while the Pandemic was unavoidable, being woefully unprepared--so fucking unprepared we're getting called on it by the World Health Organization--was not.
Even the reflection that natural selection is about to kick in doesn't comfort me because a Pandemic is not choosy about its victims. In a Pandemic, we all pay the price for the stupidity of a few. The chain is only as strong as its weakest link, people.
And yet, I'm trying to stay positive. Trying to keep my sense of humor. I mean what the hell else other option do we have? California is now in a state of lockdown--and that's the good news! I'm relieved to hear it, because if we can't contain the spread of this thing, we're going to be toast. So yes, it's disappointing not to go to Paris this year, not to go to Catalina, disappointing not to celebrate all the things there are to celebrate in person with friends and with family, and it's sad that so many of my favorite businesses--restaurants, coffee houses, salons, bookstores, aren't going to survive this, but thank God our state and local government is kicking it up a notch. It's really heartening to see so many good, kind people reaching out, so many smart, determined people racking their brains for solutions. We all love a challenge, right?
Anyway, this is not nearly as cheery an update as I'd intended. I guess I'm more angry and more frightened than I like to acknowledge. People I love are liable to die--heck, I'm liable to die--because back in 2016 a minority of numb-skulls thought it was time to Shake Things Up.
Shaky enough for you now?
So far I'm still on schedule, but that could literally change any minute. The temptation to pull the drapes, crawl into bed and turn on the Hallmark Channel for a month is strong. But on we go. One foot in front of the other.
One word, one sentence, one paragraph, one page at a time...