Monday, December 24, 2018

Christmas Coda 53

This is another odd coda in that it’s the coda for Blind Side which, like Mainly by Moonlight, hasn’t been written yet. The tricky thing here is it really is a coda and not a prequel. πŸ˜‰  Eventually, I’ll come back and fill in the blanks, but for now this will have to do.

Christmas in Hawaii?

Well, why not? It had to beat what they usually did for the holidays--which was work.

In fact, the last time Will could remember one of them taking Christmas off was a year ago when he’d had flu. He’d been hoping to fly home from Paris to surprise Taylor, but that plan had gone down the drain with half a box of Fervex. Anyway, they needed a break. Taylor needed a break, and Hawaii was everything Taylor loved: sun, sand, water and plenty of alternatives to camping.

Will frowned at the framed photo of a smiling Taylor that sat on his desk. Not many smiles out of Taylor these days.

No. Not true. Taylor smiled all the time. If the curve of lips and cheek, the flash of teeth equaled a smile. Taylor was brisk and cheerful--and hard as a slammed shut steel door. The sunlit unguarded happiness of the photo—that smile hadn’t been seen in a long time.

Not since Ashe Dekker. Goddamn him from now until eternity.

Maybe if they could get away, take a real vacation like Will had been promising forever, maybe then things would get back to normal...

“Hawaii?” Taylor said skeptically, when Will broached the idea that evening. 

“We can afford to take a little break,” Will said.

“We took a little break for Thanksgiving.”

“I mean, a real break.”

Taylor shrugged. “Thanksgiving with your family. Seemed like a real break to me.”

It was hard when he was like this. Hard to say the things Will knew he needed to say.

“I know. I mean…” Will took a breath. “I think maybe it would do us good to get away after…everything.”

Taylor’s wide green eyes met his, direct and unblinking, like the stare of an unfriendly cat.

“I would like to take you on a real vacation,” Will said. “Like I’ve been promising for…”


Since before Paris.

“I appreciate the thought,” Taylor said. “But we’re busy now and I don’t want to waste money we don’t have to waste.”

Finances were a touchy subject given that they were in hock to Taylor’s step-father. Not that Richard gave a damn about the money—he spent that amount and more on charity dinners—but Taylor did.

“Business is as slow as it’s going to get. It’s the holidays.” Lately Will had gotten into the habit of not arguing when Taylor shot him down. He didn’t want to risk the fragile balance between them. But there were worse things than arguing.


“We need some time together,” Will insisted. “We need to talk--

Taylor said with unexpected, shocking fierceness, “What the fuck do you think there is to say, Brandt?”

Will stared, silent in the face of that restrained fury.

Taylor glared at him, then rose and went to the window to stare out at the night-shrouded garden.

Will watched him, his heart beating unpleasantly hard in his chest. He had not seen that coming, had not anticipated Taylor’s…what the hell was that even?  Had never expected to see Taylor looking at him like he hated him. He almost couldn’t think past it.

His gaze dropped to Taylor’s left hand, spotted the gleam of platinum. Taylor was still wearing his ring. So okay. That was a relief. It wasn’t over. Not yet. Maybe that would change in the next five seconds. He was afraid to speak. He had no idea what to say. He was never going to regret any decision that kept Taylor alive and in one piece. And even if he did regret it, he would make the same decision every time. Period. He wasn’t going to lie about it.

Taylor reached up and squeezed the back of his neck. He let out a long sigh, and turned back to Will. “I know what you’re saying and I’m working through it, Will. Okay?”

“Since when do we work through things alone?” Will added bitterly, “Or am I what you’re working through?”

 Something flickered in Taylor’s eyes. Bulls-eye. The pain was beyond anything Will had experienced. Maybe even worse than the night he’d thought Taylor was going to die.

His mouth was so dry he thought the words would turn to dust before he got them out. “Are you leaving me?”

Taylor’s face twisted. He shook his head. “No.”

Now it was Will’s turn to turn away.

Taylor came back to the table, dragged his chair out and sat down. He rubbed his forehead. “I’m not leaving. I’m not…I’m still…” He stopped and tried again—and the fact that he was trying again was a good sign, right?

“I can’t help feeling the way I feel. I’m not saying it’s fair. I know it’s not.”

Will nodded, expelled a breath, turned back to face Taylor.

“Okay,” he said carefully. “Where do we go from here?”

They locked gazes—once upon a time and not so long ago, they had known everything the other was thinking, just by looking into each other’s eyes.

 Taylor shook his head, grimaced, offered a curl of his mouth that was not quite a smile.

“I guess we go to Hawaii for Christmas.”



  1. Ohhh, this series is in my to-read list, I'll save this one for later too 😁

  2. Umm...what?! No! This is not acceptable. Christmas dinner should be loving and sweet. This is more like my old family holiday dinners when my mother’s brothers had too much to drink....minus the thrown punches. This must be fixed! (Ugh. How long must we wait for Blind Side??) I need to find some eggnog, stat. :p You know I’m going to be sitting here, patiently, waiting for you to fix this, right? Good job! :)

  3. I think I am behind on this series.

  4. Saturday I was floating on a cloud of joy with Perry and Nick and yesterday brought further glad tidings with Eliot and Tucker’s coda - thank you for both, the perfect start to the holidays. Today... Oh, Taylor! Oh, Will! As long as they’re not going to “wash that man right out of my hair” on the beaches of Hawaii, I’ll keep my hopes up for a happy ending.

  5. Oh my gosh! I trust you but holy moly my guts are twisting and there are tears in my eyes. My boys are suffering. I wouldn't put it past that David Bradley to swoop in trying to take advantage.

    1. Yes! That handsome, opportunistic David Bradley is NOT to be trusted with our Will. Shove off, Lt. Commander. :-( Goodnees - Will and Taylor make me a nervous wreck with all that honesty stuff!

    2. :(seems like whatever happened had something to do with Taylor's ex Ashe. I'm just hoping Bradley is way out of the picture already like way

  6. OMG ! So much angst! We are so spoiled , spoiled , spoiled.
    Thanks !

  7. I’m trusting you here (it will all work out, it will all work out)!

  8. Omg. Did Will kill Taylor’s ex (in order to save Taylor) ??!
    I need the next book like NOW

    1. "I need the next book like NOW"... oh, me too! *g*
      After Adrien & Jake, these two are my favourite Lanyon couple

  9. What a tasty morsel. Will and Taylor always have me on the edge of my seat. Blind Side is going to chew me up and spit me out, isn’t it?

  10. So much emotion packed in so few words. You are the master, Josh. Thanks for this update. As with many others, looking forward to Blind Side. :)

  11. Woo-boy. What happens in that book?! Now I'm even more anxious to get my hands on it. Hurry! And thank you for this.

  12. noooooooooooo....omg .... just what happened ????

  13. Uh oh... wha... WHAT??? *had klenex at the ready* hobooooyy, I fear for their next “adventure”

  14. What happened to us?! Taylor!?! Will?! You’re my favorites!
    I know, I’m just going to pretend I didn’t read that.

  15. OMG! This was painful. I love Will and Taylor, they have gone through so many things, they really need a HEA... This has made me so sad...

  16. "The sunlit unguarded happiness of the photo—that smile hadn’t been seen in a long time."
    Oh my!... I love this coda. All the unsaid between them, which in the past would have been understood implicitly or almost, but now?... Something serious has happened to distance them. I need the gaps filled in a.s.a.p., Josh!
    Thank you for this beautiful coda. I miss Will & Taylor tremendously ♡

    Happy holidays

  17. I think I have read this coda 25 times. I keep hoping I missed some clues or the pain won't be so palpable. Will & Taylor are my favorite Lanyon couple. This was so painful. I am anxiously awaiting Blindside and hope that there will be happiness and love to balance out the painful times. Please!

  18. This hurt ouch. My baby my Taylor :( why is it that will always ends up hurting Taylor . My heart hurts for Taylor

  19. WAIT. If this is a coda then you really can't leave us hanging here? It's too painful!!! Will and Taylor are my favorite couple . I hope there's a seventh novel in the making . Will and Taylor deserve a peaceful ending to their story just like Adrien and Jake did. Not saying everything is sunshine and roses but at least Adrien and Jake got their own version of happily ever after .