Friday, October 3, 2014

New Release - THE BOY WITH THE PAINFUL TATTOO

Okay, yes. I am being a little premature, but we're so close! Sunday morning you should all be waking up to the antics and adventures of Kit Holmes and his long-suffering lover J.X. Moriarity.


Someone was asking me if I can tell in advance whether a book is going to be a success. That's an interesting question. For one thing, it depends on how you define success. All my books sell well (relatively speaking), but that's not really how I consider whether a book is successful. Well, no. I mean, that's obviously a factor! They have to sell well, definitely. But what I can't predict is how I'm going to feel about a book once I'm done with it. And even harder to predict is how readers will feel about it. Sometimes my pleasure in a book will coincide with how readers respond, but even so there will be surprises. Someone who I was confident would love a particular story ends up finding it same-old same-old. Or someone who I thought would find a story disappointing, ends up loving it. The never knowing for sure keeps it exciting, I guess.


Anyway, I'm feeling good about this one, but that could be my own crazy sense of humor. I laughed a lot writing this book. I am smiling right now thinking of certain scenes. If you like the characters, I'm quite sure you'll like this book. (And if you don't like the characters, save your pennies because this one is going to annoy you even more than the last two.)


Anyway, that's it. The work is done and now the book must stand or fall on its own merits. I reach out from the bank and shove my paper sailboat into the current, and away it goes down the river...




BLURB:


It’s moving day at Chez Holmes.


Somehow, against Kit’s better instincts, he and J.X. are setting up house together. But while J.X. is off at a mystery fiction convention, Kit unpacks a crate that should contain old china.
It doesn’t.


Within the mounds of Styrofoam popcorn is a dead body.


A very dead body.


There goes the neighborhood.




EXCERPT:


“Yoo-hoo! YOO-HOO!”


Knock. Knock. Knock.


Could she see us? I wasn’t sure. Luckily we were under the blankets. Still.


The knocking was now coming from one of the large bay windows along the side of the house. Through the filmy window sheers, I could see the tip top of one of those broad, straw coolie hats some elderly folks—and outright eccentrics—use for gardening.


Mid-scramble for our clothes, J.X. and I exchanged horrified glances. He looked so stricken that I started to laugh, even as I dragged my jeans on.


“Who the hell is that?” J.X. protested again, which struck me as still funnier.


“Welcome Wagon?”


“No way.” He said doubtfully, “You think?”


“Well…no.” I climbed awkwardly—it’s not easy to go from pleasurable arousal to alarmed action in thirty seconds flat—over one of the many crates marked books. I half tripped over a rolled Persian carpet, clattered into a set of fireplace rack and accessories, and finally stumbled over to the window seat. I struggled with the catch on the window and managed to raise the sash a foot or so.


The spring morning scents of honeysuckle and freshly mown grass wafted in.


I saw a small person of indeterminate sex, dressed in baggy clothes. At first glance it appeared that one of the garden gnomes from next door had come to life. And had something to say about it.


“Good morning!” the gnome greeted me. She had one of those fluting, high voices that brought to mind Sunday school teachers and curators at the most macabre exhibits at the Tower of London. A voice like an ice pick through your left eye socket. “Welcome to the neighborhood. So sorry to disturb you on your first morning, but the movers must have broken one of the sprinkler heads along your front walk.”


“Oh. Uh…okay.”


As I seemed to be missing the point, she said kindly, “Water is shooting up like a geyser out there. There’s a drought going on, you know.”


She was probably in her sixties, but unlike my former mentor Anna Hitchcock, no effort here had been made to stave off the ravages of time. Not that she looked ravaged. Beneath the wide brim of her hat I could just make out twinkling blue eyes in a round and rosy face.


“Hell,” I said. “Okay. Thanks for letting us know.” Not twenty-four hours in the new place and it was already falling down around our ears. I hate to say I told you so—well, no. Actually, I kind of like to say I told you so. I couldn’t wait to tell J.X. I told you so!


She offered a small but capable hand. “Emmaline Bloodworth. I’m on your left.”


Proof of my distraction, I actually glanced to my left. “You are? Are you?”


“I live in the house to your left.” She was still offering a doll-sized hand, and I leaned down to take it. She shook hands firmly.


“Christopher Holmes.” I released her, started to retreat, but by then J.X. was behind me so I backed my ass firmly into his crotch, which pretty much illustrated the current state of affairs at #321 Chestnut Lane...




Buy it here:
Smashwords
Amazon
Kobo
B&N
iTunes


Print


(The book will also be available in audio about mid-November.)




AND do not miss the launch parties taking place on Goodreads and my Facebook fan page! There is a veritable treasure trove of goodies and gifties being given away.

50 comments:

  1. I love these two. They do make me smile. I have the book on preorder.

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    1. Thanks for preordering! I hope you enjoy it. :-)

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  2. Josh, as a huge fan of your "crazy sense of humor" I know this new installment in the H&M series will be so, so funny. Add to that the popularity of Kit and J.X. and I am confident TBWTPT will be wildly successful. I wish you all the best as always, and look forward to reading this sure-to-be brilliant and entertaining story.

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    1. It's very nice seeing that there really is some anticipation for these two! :-)

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  4. I´ll start reading it on Sunday. I can´t wait to do it. I like JX and Kit very much.

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  5. Just a couple of days to go now – so excited about reading the book! (^O^)/

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  6. I noticed you didn't have All Romance listed as one of the places to get TBWTPT but I have mine there on pre-order and just waiting to be downloaded. Just to let everyone know there is one more place to get their hands on what I am sure is going to be another awesome Josh Lanyon book.

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    1. ACK!!! Yes! ARE is another one -
      https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-theboywiththepainfultattoo-1635420-340.html

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  7. The wait would be intolerable if not for the efforts of your mighty band, (herd?)(echo?) of elves on your various fan sites. They make the time go by happier if not faster, so that you are free to fly out on the 5th and deliver your book to all the good little boys and girls at 12am on the dot. I'm going to head back over to Goodreads, they have tequila.

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    1. I know! They are amazing. I am astounded (and more than a little touched) at the wealth of prezzies they put together for this. And it's all them! I contributed almost nothing beyond anxiety attacks and second thoughts. I am very lucky in my readers.

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  8. I can't wait - only I have to. But Sunday can't come soon enough as far as I'm concerned. I love your stories and I love Holmes and Moriarity and the humour they have.

    I shall be buying the audio as soon as it's available too, because I love listening to your books as much as I enjoy reading them. Thank you for writing them.

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    1. I really do need to hear that because audio is still just a fraction of all sales. It's expensive to do and I guess I do need to know it matters to readers.

      I enjoy it because it's a way to sort of experience my work in the way readers do. I get so caught up in the narration I lose track of what's coming and so I am often amused or surprised. :-D But that could just be self-indulgent. So hearing that readers really enjoy and look forward to these productions is helpful.

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    2. I adore listening to your stories on audio. Double the pleasure because I get a completely different experience from them and they last longer too, I'm a shockingly fast reader and your stories are always over too soon for me, but listening is a more ambling enjoyment. Thank you for going to the trouble and expense of them when they don't - I'm guessing - give the same financial reward.

      It was your audiobooks that corrupted me into listening to fiction, instead of the weighty non fiction work related stuff I used to listen to while driving etc. Thank you for that too, much more fun.

      And I love that listening means that you get to be surprised by your own work :-).

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    3. It is a different experience. Audio means the reader has to relinquish a certain amount of control, and I think that allows for a different perspective, new insights. It's almost like experiencing the book for the first time.

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  9. I enjoy the audiobooks, too. After reading the book, I will buy the audiobook if I want to re-experience the story, word for word, especially if the narrator is good. I am looking forward to this audiobook because I really liked the narrator for the first 2 Kit+JX book and I hope you have the same one. And I'm not a business person, but from my point of view, you could charge more for the audiobooks and I would still pay. I have paid dozens of dollars for audiobooks that I didn't find as much fun to listen to as yours (some excellent novels don't translate very well to the spoken word--not the case for your writing).

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    1. Yes, Kevin R. Free will be back for BWTPT. I'm thrilled we were able to get him because I think he does such a terrific job with the characters. He just makes it all funnier.

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  10. Reading is very important for me and listening to audiobooks it's too. So I appreciate your effort very much. I am very sure that The Boy With The Painful Tattoo will be a striking success, it has to be, because it is that good!! I have read it and can't wait until November to listening to the audiobook. You really bring light and joy to my life!

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    1. You're so sweet, Sabine. Thank you. :-) I couldn't ask for a more appreciative reader.

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  11. Commenting again to say I absolutely love The Boy With The Painful Tattoo on so many levels! And also to clarify that I wasn't making a criticism when I said your stories are always over too soon for me. If I love a story it could be twice as long as War And Peace and still be too short - and this was fabulous! I could have read and read.

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    1. Thank you so much! I'm delighted the book is getting such an enthusiastic reception. And that's okay -- I'm glad you enjoy the stories so much. It's a nice compliment.

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    1. My personal favorite scene is the Dew Drop Inn. ;-)

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    2. (I think I said too much and would spoil the surprise for those who haven't started reading. So, I deleted my original post and re-post)

      Just finished the book and it was a very enjoyable read! I love the scenes when the nutjob went after Kit. Especially in the motel and at the end. Okay, I am not thrilled that Kit kept getting hurt but I cannot deny that those scenes were a thrill. I also love that Kit professed his love for JX. Kit was't the PAD type and he wasn't comfortable of showing his affection like JX did. To get to where he was at the end, he's came a long way and I was really glad to see that. Another thing was, Kit got himself a stalker! I can't resist stalker story. You just threw everything I love in TBWTPT and got me hooked.

      Thanks so much for another great story, Josh! I look forward to your new work.

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  13. I stayed up late last night and started reading after the book popped up on my Kindle. Without spoiling it for others, let me just say that I loved revisiting old friends and seeing them from another point of view. I will definitely be buying the audiobook for this one. And you should consider publishing a Miss Butterwith snippet on the blog for your loyal readers. Perhaps one that shows why everyone thinks the Inspector is gay?

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    1. Ha! That's a funny idea. I like it. I do get a surprising number of requests for a Butterwith book! :-D

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    2. Unsurprising, as the titles are so provocative.

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  14. woot got mine last night. Yup stayed up reading.. I love the books, but wont ty for the football sized bags this morn LOL Kudos

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    1. LOL I hear cucumber slices are good for that. Or you can just drop them in a drink. ;-)

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    2. In drinks of course brother, i'll just pass the football bags hah

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  15. Stopped by to say I just finished the book and I loved it!!! <3 Kit is hilarious as usual. So much love for this book!! Thank you so much Josh for writing it!

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    1. Thank you for reading! I love sharing these characters.

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  16. Dropping by to say I finished this book in roughly six hours - I could not put it down - and I loved every bit of it. I was giddy throughout the entire thing, but nobody on this planet could have wiped the smile from my face when English and Riordan showed up. Don't get me wrong, I adore Christopher and J.X, but English and Riordan have always had a special place in my heart. So it was very nice and kind of you to give us a snippet of them.

    Thank you so much for writing this. It was lovely, and I have to say certain scenes and dialogues have been in the foreground of my mind since yesterday. Bravo!

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    1. I love hearing that the story lingered. Thanks so much!

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  17. Reread the first two a few weeks ago in anticipation, reminding me again how much I love these characters. Was so happy to have a third installment, one just as much, if not more fun than the previous pair. Loved it! (And did enjoy having Jake and Adrien pop in for a snippet as well, great to see how the four of them interacted! What can I say, I've always been a sucker for crossovers ^^)

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    1. Well, thank you. It seemed a natural collision of worlds this time. ;-) So happy you enjoyed it.

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  18. Josh-
    Well shoot! I was planning to fly out to CA and surprise you on your doorstep with a bouquet of roses and a bucket of Carolina pulled pork barbecue, which we would eat together. But Kit's reaction to Jerry Knight has me reduced to planning to fly out and lurk in the aisles of your local Lowe's. I'm only 58% along, but enjoying the story immensely. The early pesky fan material is hilarious.
    Tony

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    1. I'm liable to have wrecked my own gravy train with this damn book!!! ;-)

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  19. I read it, then I reread the last two, then I read this one again. And there was great joy (and gleeful chortling) in every reading. So thank you for that :)

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    1. Ha! I am grinning like a fool at this comment. :-)

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  20. I don't think I can tell you how much I enjoyed this book. Really, really, enjoyed it. Laughing out loud, holding my breath, never going to look at a meat tenderizer the same way again, kind of enjoyment. I'm simply in love with this story....and speaking of love, the scene at the Langham Huntingham is now my favorite. <3

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    1. Thank you so much, Karan. That makes me very happy.

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  21. I just finished my second read-through. I was so blown away by how good it was, I couldn't post until I read it a second time to make sure I didn't leave any gushing out. or tears... there were tears.

    I love all your characters - their lives and their frustrations... And I want to say that Kit and J.X. are my favorite... but then so are Adrian and Jake... and Nick and Perry... and Elliot and Tucker... and you also just reminded me that I loved Brett and Neil (Yes I am a big fan of your audio books too!!!). Okay, can't really pick a favorite.

    That being said I always love your books.

    I was happy to see Kit making an effort. I loved seeing J.X. cope. If anyone hasn't ordered this yet because they are waiting to see how it's received, wait no more - this book is totally worth it.

    Josh again hits us hard in our hearts and reminds us why we read his books in the first place. Don't hesitate, click right now!!!

    Waiting for this book was hard. Waiting for Fair Play is hard. Waiting for any Lanyon book or autobook (Yes will buy BWTPT as soon as it's ready) is hard. But I will wait.

    Because a J.X. would say... You're worth it!!

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    1. This is so lovely. Thank you very much. It took me a while to figure out this story, but once I did it was such a pleasure to write. I missed these two!

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  22. I´ve just finished it and It did not disappoint me at all. I apologize because I´m going to put it in Spanish because I fear not being able to express what I feel.
    Es un libro excelente como no esperaba otra cosa de usted. Creo que esta tercera entrega supera a las dos anteriores. La trama me ha mantenido en vilo durante toda la lectura, las escenas, algunas, como la del motel de carretera me han parecido maravillosas, bastante hilarante aunque dramática también. Y Kit, en su papel me ha encantado y qué decir de la participación de Adrien English... ¡qué sorpresa! Me ha gustado. Mi más sincera felicitación por su gran trabajo.
    Now, I can not wait to read "Fair play"

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  23. This is definitely my favourite of the Kit & JX books. I love the first two fine, but this one just bangs! Thank you so much, Josh, for the emotional roller-coaster ride. I enjoyed every minute of it!

    Savanna

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